Yes, I’m that mum who uses videos to entertain my child sometimes. I hope you won’t judge me too harshly for it.
For our first dining-out with bub, my husband and I came up with a plan.
You see, we’re first-time parents who were (and still are) absolutely terrified of the volatile temperament of our then-one-year-old. At the same time, we’re a little tired of having takeout food on my non-cooking days. After all, nothing beats savouring fresh food on a hot plate immediately when it’s served.
So we decided it’s time we make an attempt at that big milestone, which is dining out with an infant. The plan? Order our dishes and let them know they can take their time, get bub fed and happy, then occupy him with a small dose of screen time while we wolf down our food.
Sounds great? It was! It felt so good having piping hot xiao long bao and handmade noodles… until the next table voiced out.
“I’ll never use screen time to entertain my child.”
It was said loud enough for us to hear yet soft enough to sound like a comment to her fellow tablemates. She was sitting with her spouse, friends, and a beautiful child just past the newborn stage in a pram.
She also talked about the negative effects of screen time and how it was sad to see many parents just shoving a tablet or phone to their young kids to entertain them.
Ouch.
Unpopular opinion: Screen time isn’t bad because of how long or how often you use it
Was our first dining-out experience with bub ruined by that comment? No. Did I feel the jab? Heck, yes – especially because it came from a fellow mum of a very young child.
But, the incident also got me thinking about our family’s screen time usage and habits. After some self-reflection and discussion with my husband, I came to the conclusion that the real issue with screen time isn’t so much the duration or frequency.
It’s the usage and reason for using it.
What do you use screen time for?
Now, I’m not here to pass judgement or dictate what are the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ reasons for using screen time. What I’m trying to say is: perhaps we should spare our fellow parents a thought as to why they’re using screen time to entertain their children, be it in public or at home.
As a whole, my child gets less than one hour of screen time per week. There are also times when we’ve gone through a whole week without having to entertain him with videos (insert mental fist pump).
Personally, I use it when I have important meetings (I work from home) that happen during bub’s wake hours. I also use it when I’m attempting multi-step recipes in the kitchen. Though I feel guilty for it, I do give bub 15 minutes of screen time post-dinner after a full day of solo parenting.
My husband fares better on the screen-free entertainment front (which is why he’s the Chief Entertainment Officer at home). I just lack the energy and patience to play multiple rounds of chase and read 23 storybooks back-to-back.
As you’ve read earlier, we use screen time to entertain bub when we’re dining at our favourite places. You can call us selfish – it’s not every day that we get to enjoy our dishes at the same time.
Why can’t you entertain him with toys? Or just bring a colouring book?
Trust me, we’ve tried. Devices are always the last resort for us. Drawing pads, colouring pencils, his favourite toy cars, and all the random items that he took a fancy to are in bub’s going-out bag. Unfortunately, being strapped in a high chair is too boring after a few minutes, and bub would want to go for a walk. And since we’re not yet done with our mains (probably just took two bites), the screen it is.
To ‘reduce’ the harm of screen time (if that’s even possible), we make an effort to look for kids shows that are low-stimulating. Recently, we found that bub is quite into podcasts and audiobooks as well. We’re trying to transition him slowly into those. It’s still a work in progress, but I really hope it’ll work for him.
Hey momma, I hope it works out for you.
To the fellow mum who is determined not to use screen time for entertainment, I hope that works out for you. Really, I do. It’s the same thing I set out to do when bub was younger. It was a challenging journey, and I eventually gave in.
At the same time, I hope you’ll give other parents the benefit of the doubt when you see their children’s eyes locked on a screen. Maybe they’ve had a long day, or maybe they really just need to get something done ASAP.
“Just because we decide to expose our child to screen time doesn’t make us bad parents,” my husband said. In fact, he encourages me to use it whenever I need to get chores and work done and whenever I need a break. “We try our best, and we do what we have to do.”
