Mum life is tough, so you're going to need some backup (and people to drink wine with)!
Being a new mum in Singapore has its perks. You get to take bub on awesome walks, you have the option of an extra pair of helping hands, and you can even get all your baby gear sorted while you’re breastfeeding. But it can also get lonely, especially when you’re yet to build your mum group. For many new (and not so new) mums, having a mum group could mean all the difference when you’re not feeling your best or overwhelmed. And for many mums, that’s practically all the time.
The thing is, making mum friends isn’t all that easy. You’re perpetually short on time, the only adult you’ve been talking to is your husband (ugh) and you’re just so…darn…tired. Need a mum friend or mum group but don’t know where to begin? Here’s what worked for us…
How to make mum friends in Singapore
Join a class!
Many mums have made friends in the classes they’ve attended — whether it’s a spin class, a prenatal class or even a language class, many friendships have been forged through this common bond. Our top tip? Join parent accompanied baby classes! Everyone in these classes are parents and you’ll find that it’s easier to strike up conversation when babies are around. Also, here’s a secret: those baby classes aren’t REALLY for the babies — they’re for parents to get out of their milk-stained clothes and meet other parents!
Talk to the other mums in your neighbourhood/condo
In sunny Singapore, mums know that playground primetime is before 10am and after 4pm. You’ll find that playgrounds are usually teeming with kids and those around the same age will tend to drift to the same pieces of equipment. Mums, this is your in — you’ll want to use this as an opportunity to meet mums with kids similarly-aged to yours. The swimming pool is also a great place to meet other mums. Need more help making condo friends? Read our guide here.
Don’t be shy
Worried that you’ll try to befriend someone who doesn’t really want your friendship? Does talking to a stranger make your palms sweat? That’s all completely fine. But remember, there’s a big chance that a fellow mum might be feeling the same way too. An easy way to approach someone is by complimenting them: in your case, you’ll want to tell another mum how cute you think their kid is or how much you love their awesome stroller. Get creative!
Lucky us, there are heaps of Facebook support groups for mums in Singapore! There are so many groups organised by interest, age group and even parenting style. Sure, they’re not for everybody, but it’s a great way to start building up your mum tribe. Some groups like NMSG have monthly meet-ups and coffee catch-ups for mums to get together too. Whichever Facebook group you choose to be a part of, choose wisely. You won’t want to be bombarded by negative, passive aggressive comments — nobody needs that, especially when you’re already going through a lot!
Be the mum who organises playdates
Let’s get real, when you have a baby, playdates are more for mums to have a coffee (or wine, we aren’t judging!) and eat cake. Pick a nice, baby-friendly cafe, schedule the “playdate” during naptime, and you’ve got yourself 30 or so minutes of uninterrupted conversation. If you’ve got older bubs, find a place where kids can play and parents can talk — we’ve got a super cool list of kid-friendly restaurants with play areas, perfect for this exact sitch. It’s a win-win for all!
Through all this mum friend-making, the most important thing to remember is that sometimes, friendship ends. But we get it — life is full of uncertainty, especially when you’ve got kids in the mix or if you’re an expat who’s always moving. But then, once in awhile, you’ll meet someone who’ll become your mum BFF, who’s ready to watch your kids when you need it and pass on their cute hand-me-downs to you. Good luck!