From leaving an abusive relationship to becoming a doula, starting her own home-based business and giving back to the community with an all-female biker gang, mum of one Shaik Syahirah shares about the many hats she has worn in her colourful life.
TW: This article contains mentions of domestic violence.
You know the saying, “We all have the same 24 hours in a day.” And while it’s often said in passing by successful entrepreneurs who’ve ‘made it’ with access to so many resources at their fingertips, some individuals prove that it’s possible to pursue entrepreneurial aspirations and beat the odds despite limited means. Mum of one Shaik Syahirah is one such powerhouse of a person – from her experience with domestic violence to raising her daughter as a single mum and finding flickers of joy in her humble rental flat, she doesn’t shy from being honest about the healing journey she still finds herself on.
With titles including doula, educator and small business owner under her belt, she shares her story, her gratitude for her village, and what’s in store for her family’s future.
Hi Syahirah! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?
I’m a wife, sister, daughter and a proud mother to a 10-year-old, Aisha Syakirah. Currently, I’m working as a financial advisor and also have a home-based business called Kira Kimchi where I sell home-cooked halal Korean food.
You have such a colourful CV – doula, masseuse, educator… even being in the entertainment industry! How did you get started on each role?
Honestly, I never set out to explore such a wide variety of roles — it all happened as part of my journey. Growing up, I actually had ambitions to become an Islamic mortician.
I remembered attending my friend’s father’s funeral when we were only 14. It was a Taoist funeral, yet she knew exactly what to do. That moment stayed with me — I didn’t want to face my parents’ passing without knowing how to honour them properly. So my brother and I took a course, and I decided to intern with a burial company. However, this industry is deeply sensitive, and after some time I came to understand that before I could approach death with true empathy, I first had to learn about life.
Throughout the early years of my career, I dabbled in IT programming and nightlife roles, which didn’t turn out to be the best choice for my health and wellbeing. However, despite the frenzied lifestyle and nature of the job, I often found myself being promoted to supervisory and managerial positions, which made me realise I had leadership strengths. This realisation inspired me to transition back to daytime roles, where I eventually became an engineer. While the work was fulfilling, it was also demanding, and when I became pregnant, I knew I wanted to dedicate my life to raising my daughter.
My career as a doula
To create flexibility for myself, I trained with Childbirth International to become a birth doula, childbirth educator and breastfeeding consultant. These skills remain with me, and I still take on doula-related jobs occasionally. To complement my doula services, I became certified with ProTherapist in Swedish Massage, Prenatal Massage and Postnatal Massage. This allowed me to offer packages and freelance services, which were ideal while raising my daughter on my own. These certifications also gave me opportunities for jobs abroad, like confinement care and postnatal massage, which I saw as a chance to bring my daughter along for ‘paid vacations’.
My cousin is a doula and introduced me to the field, as childbirth services was starting to become a lucrative industry. At first, I was drawn not only by my passion for caring for women but also by the potential to provide more for myself and my daughter. However over time, I stopped focusing on the financial aspect. The process of birth itself brought me immense satisfaction. I discovered that I was much better at caring for women than I was with kids, which led to many strong friendships along the way. Even now, I still get opportunities thanks to word-of-mouth referrals and my online presence as Gamsabirth on Instagram and Facebook.
Empowering mums and women with my home-based F&B business
My experience as a doula showed me the need for mothers to nourish themselves during pregnancy, which led to the creation of my home-based business, Kira Kimchi. I focus on preparing tingkat and confinement meals, which gives me more control over my time. During seasonal periods like Ramadan I also offer protein rice bowls and open as early as 3am to send customers their pre-dawn meals without the stress of meal prep.
This flexibility allows me to prioritise my family, especially my daughter, while still pursuing meaningful work. In my work as a financial advisor and a business owner, I work harder than ever, but I’m grateful that I can structure my life around what matters most: my family.
Can you tell us more about the time you lived in a rental flat and raised a child as a single parent?
I’m still living in a rental flat today, and my journey here has been one of resilience and growth. 11 years ago, I became pregnant in a relationship that was deeply abusive — physically, verbally, and psychologically. I carried deep shame from the relationship, believing the world would judge me for leaving him.
However, everything changed when I got pregnant. I realised I couldn’t let my child grow up in such an environment.
Seeking help and leaving an abusive relationship
One day, a colleague left a window open on my computer for the PAVE website. I gathered the courage to call, but hung up out of fear. They kept calling back, and when I finally answered, they guided me on how to seek help without getting caught. Eventually, I found the strength to leave. He beat me for the last time before I finally broke free, unplugged from the trauma, and called the police. That toxic environment lasted seven years, but with the help of organisations like PAVE and AWARE, I found the strength to break free.
For legal matters, I turned to AWARE. After years of abuse, I had adopted an abnormal way of speaking, and I felt that the police officer handling my case lacked empathy. I felt like I kept being blamed from the start. But when I got a Befriender, she stood up for me, challenged the officer, and for the first time, I felt like I had someone in my corner. I later became a Befriender myself. I quickly learned how crucial this role was, in order to be heard better by those who have the power to help. This experience has improved my ability to listen and helped me develop skills to handle all situations with resilience.
I share this part of my story because it shaped who I am today. Leaving that relationship was the turning point where I decided to stop making poor choices, not just for myself but for my daughter. She couldn’t grow up seeing her mother tolerate abuse. My focus became building a healthy, loving relationship with her in our own little sanctuary, where we could grow and heal together. I realised I needed to end the cycle, and that decision has guided me ever since.
Recovery wasn’t easy. I experienced PTSD for years after leaving, but I committed to therapy to ensure my loved ones didn’t bear the weight of my trauma. I started therapy with PAVE, then went for free counselling for years with Family Service Centre (a community-based social service) and then the Lion Mind for three final therapy sessions. I haven’t gone since, but I feel like these sessions helped me to stand on my feet and guide myself when I felt I couldn’t.
With the support of my family, a focus on proper therapy, exercise, and nutrition, I’ve worked hard to heal. While recovery is a journey, I believe I’ve done my best to create a better life for my daughter and me.
Being grateful for the village we have
When I was pregnant, finding a place to live was incredibly challenging. My parents’ 4-room flat was already home to their four children, and while my family was supportive, I didn’t want to disrupt their lives with the cries of a newborn. As a single parent, accessing government assistance, including a rental unit, was a long and difficult process. Eventually, when my daughter turned two, I secured our current rental flat, and we’ve called it home for the past seven years. Despite the circumstances I’ve really enjoyed turning the space into a safe haven for my little family. I’m also grateful to have this home as my creative workspace to fuels my entrepreneurial pursuits.
Raising a child truly takes a village, and I’m fortunate to have mine. My parents, godparents, and sister have been invaluable in supporting me and my daughter. Initially, I struggled with separation anxiety and hesitated to entrust her care to others, but over time, I came to appreciate the value of this community. It became a routine for my daughter to spend time with me and enjoy “mummy off days” three times a week with other loved ones in our circle. Now that I’m married, I’ve gained another member in this village, and our bonds are deeply rooted and unbreakable.
Living in a rental flat has exposed me to people from all walks of life. My daughter has grown up seeing me handle challenging situations, including dealing with dangerous situations in the neighbourhood. While I’ve taught her to recognise and navigate such incidents, there’s no room for complacency. Being a parent means constantly staying vigilant to ensure our children are safe. It’s a heavy responsibility but also the most fulfilling one I’ve ever had.
As we look to the future, I hope to secure a home of our own (my husband and I are currently in the process of applying for a BTO) — a place where we can bake together, in a safer neighbourhood where we can continue to thrive as a family. That’s the goal: a happy, secure, and loving home for my daughter and us.
How did you juggle being a single mum with all your different endeavours?
I relied on structure and support to manage everything while I was still a single mum before I got married. I enrolled my daughter in infant care and later childcare, which allowed me to work while she was at school. I’d wake up at 6am, get her ready by 7am, and then take on jobs from 7:30am to 6:30pm. I’d pick her up from childcare by 7pm, ensuring we ended the day together. A special shoutout to the incredible teachers at Springbrainy Childcare, who kept me updated on Aisha’s day and provided amazing support. This routine was essential — it’s something I believe every parent, whether mum or dad, needs to establish.
When I had doula work, things got more complicated. Doula jobs often require being on call for one to three full days, depending on the labour process. During these times, I leaned on my village to help care for my daughter. While the work was fulfilling and financially rewarding, I eventually stepped away because I didn’t want to miss my daughter’s milestones while supporting another family’s journey. I still do take doula assignments, but only pre-scheduled ones – no more active labour for me for now. So I still take in jobs for postpartum care, birth education, breastfeeding counselling and prenatal care.
Although I love the prestige and joy of being a doula, I prioritised being present for Aisha. Ultimately, my routine and strong support system made it all possible.
With so much going on, you still manage to volunteer with your female biker gang and silat group. How did you get involved with these communities and why is contributing to these causes important to you?
In 2022, after seven years, I finally got my motorbike license. I joined several bike groups, but my experiences on Telegram highlighted a serious issue: many groups were unsafe for women due to predatory behaviour. As a mother raising a daughter, this deeply concerned me. Eventually, I discerned the friends from foes and built meaningful connections with fellow bikers who shared my love for riding. Riding has boosted my confidence, especially since I use it to get around a lot.
I even worked as a delivery rider to improve my riding skills and gain confidence on the roads. This job was one of the most fascinating experiences I’ve had — I got access to spaces I never imagined visiting, from restricted areas to stunning natural spots. These little wins made the job feel like an adventure.
Eventually, I joined Chikaro, an all-female biker community, which better understood the challenges women face, like physical strength differences and menstruation issues. Through Chikaro, I found opportunities to give back, like delivering food to the less fortunate. Giving back is essential to me. It’s how I show gratitude for the help I’ve received throughout my life. Spending a few hours helping others is nothing compared to the support I’ve been blessed with over the years.
Silat is another community close to my heart. My daughter and I spend time together training with other pesilat from Perguruan Sendeng Seturut (formerly known as Harimau) where we instil values like empathy, compassion, and giving back. It’s a space where we not only train but also care for each other’s children, raising them with a sense of gratitude and community. I take part in her activities because I want to model the importance of being involved and giving back.
How do you ensure you still spend quality time with your daughter alongside the many demands of work?
This one’s simple: I plan and prioritise. For instance, when my daughter was two, I bought a one-year pass to Universal Studios Singapore, and every weekend, we’d go together. That year fulfilled my need for theme parks for a lifetime! We also try our best to travel to ensure we have time set aside for bonding. Scheduling ahead keeps us connected and creates precious memories.
What are your hopes for your daughter?
I want my daughter to grow into a respected leader in her field and among her peers. More importantly, I want her to be a compassionate and empathetic person. My hope is that she recognises the effort I’ve put into giving her my best, just as my parents did for me, so she can pass on that love and dedication to her future family.
I want to support her education, send her to university, and support her should she wish to have a gap year to explore the world. I’ve even kept her baby items as a special graduation gift, like her Taimaobi. This involves proper financial planning and I have to start now so that I can give these to her when the time comes.
As a financial advisor, I want her to be financially savvy — something I wasn’t taught growing up. I hope she learns to make good choices, lead a meaningful life, and grow into a kind and capable person. No matter what path she chooses, I’ll always be there to support her 100%.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Syahirah! Make sure to check out Kira Kimchi for home-based halal Korean meals, and Gamsabirth for holistic prenatal and postnatal care.
