We love mums who are passionate about the arts and juggle it alongside family life. Tay Hwee Ling of VOS Ladies Choir takes it a step further with her family's long history of fostering 13 children!
No matter how fiercely loving we are as mums, there’s something so empowering about parents who are incredibly dedicated to their work and passions while striking a healthy balance in life. We first heard about Tay Hwee Ling after a chat with the VOS Ladies Choir team, who made the news in 2023 for winning a choir competition in Europe singing the folk song Dayung Sampan as part of their repertoire.
Fresh from the ‘Overall Best Choir’ win at the 16th International Festival of Advent and Christmas Music in Bratislava, Slovakia, President of VOS Ladies Choir, Hwee Ling, chats with us about her experience taking part in the competition, and how she manages it all while being an amazing foster mum and mother of six to her biological and adopted children!
Hi Hwee Ling, tell us a little bit about yourself!
Before I had kids, I worked as a secondary school teacher, which I really loved. But when my first child was born, I decided to leave my career and focus on homeschooling my children. I wanted to create a nurturing and personalised learning environment for them.
I started singing relatively late, in 2012, after having four kids. I was looking for some “me-time” to recharge and stumbled upon singing, which quickly became a passion. It was such a joy that I got my kids involved too, and we’ve made some incredible memories performing in various productions together.
I have four biological children, aged 16 to 20, and we’ve also adopted two children from foster care. Right now, we’re fostering another child, and over the years, we’ve had more than ten foster children come and go through our home. Each one has touched our lives in a unique way.
Balancing everything – from homeschooling to singing to fostering – has been challenging at times, but incredibly rewarding. It’s all about creating meaningful connections and making a difference, both in my family and in the wider community.
How did you find the time to attend rehearsals with the Ladies Choir while juggling your roles as manager at VOS, and family commitments?
Rehearsals are a non-negotiable part of my life – they’re my dedicated me-time and a much-needed break from parenting. No matter how busy life gets, I always make it to rehearsals because I believe that self-care is a crucial part of being a good parent. Whether it’s singing or another form of respite, taking that time for yourself is important.
My role as President of VOS Ladies Choir is voluntary and stems from my deep love for the choir. When you’re passionate about something and care for your community, it feels natural to want to contribute more. This role allows me to give back to a group that means so much to me.
Now that my biological kids are older, I’m dealing with a bit of empty-nest syndrome. I still homeschool my younger children in the mornings, but after that, I spend the rest of my day at VOS. It keeps me busy and fulfilled, especially after being out of the traditional workforce for so many years.
At VOS, I ensure that several choral programs run smoothly. We have two choirs for the elderly (one in English and one in Chinese – the VOS Silver Voices), a choir for children with special needs – VOS Starlight Voices, and an inclusive non-auditioned adult choir where singers from all walks of life gather to make music – VOS Community Chorus. Part of my work also involves reaching out to the community to bring singing to underprivileged children. Having experienced the benefits of singing myself, I now work on extending this joy of music-making to people in the community.
Balancing everything can be tricky, but the key for me is prioritising and recognising the importance of self-care. It’s all about finding that balance and taking care of myself so I can give my best to my family and my passions.
What was it like travelling to Slovakia for the choir festival and competition?
Travelling to Bratislava for the choir festival was an unforgettable experience. It was my first choir tour, and the VOS ladies truly felt like my second family. We bonded even more as we worked towards the competition.
I wasn’t planning to bring any family, but an opportunity came up for my 18-year-old daughter to join the choir. It turned into a special trip for us, especially since she had just graduated from the VOS Children’s Choir and was heading overseas for studies the next month.
Travelling with her made the trip even more memorable. It was great that we got to nerd out over the music-making together. She expressed after the trip that she got to see a part of her mum’s world, and she felt that VSL was serious about not just making good music, but also about the relationships between the singers. I also saw her interact with my peers, which helped us understand each other more.
Preparing for the cold together became a “practice round” for her since she was heading into the thick of Boston winter the month after, and we got the chance to talk through the many new experiences she might face when she started her studies abroad.
Back to the topic of kids – wow, six children and 13 foster children?! What made you want to be a foster parent?
Believe it or not, my childhood dream was to become a mother. Whenever I read about children in trouble, especially abandoned babies, my heart aches. My four biological children came one after another within five years, so I was in survival mode during their early years. When my youngest turned seven, my husband and I attended a fostering session, and it just felt like the right time. With our kids being a bit older, we felt we had the capacity to help more children in need.
How did you manage the relationships between your children and your foster children?
When I first brought up the idea of fostering to my four biological children, they welcomed it immediately. Since they were close in age and always had each other, they didn’t fear sharing my attention. Looking back, I realise they were the biggest reason we were able to foster so many children successfully. They always chipped in to help and made our foster children feel at ease.
At a young age, my kids surprised others with their ease at carrying tiny babies. They were always on hand to help soothe our foster babies, do milk feeds, and entertain them. For slightly older foster children, my kids play a big role as a calming and welcoming presence, in a place that is foreign to the foster children. Coming from uncertain situations, foster children often find everything unfamiliar, even the adults in their lives. But having my own kids around helped bridge that gap, making the transition smoother for everyone involved.
Fostering has been a blessing for all of us. My teens have become confident in caring for babies and young children, which has been wonderful to see. We’ve all learned and grown so much from the experience.
Will you continue being a foster parent if the opportunity arises, or has that chapter closed?
With my biological children all grown up, we’re planning to take a break from fostering once our current foster child is reintegrated with his birth family. I wouldn’t say the chapter is closed, just that we’re moving into a different season. Right now, I’m focusing on homeschooling my two younger adopted kids, who were initially fostered. Maybe one day, when they’re older and we’re ready, we might foster again.
Have any of your own children followed in your footsteps of joining the performing arts?
Absolutely! For about eight years, I had the joy of singing alongside my four biological children in numerous productions. It was an incredible bonding experience for us all.
One core memory that stands out is our performance of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony with The Joy Chorale. It was particularly memorable because it was the first time we convinced my husband to join us, even though he’s not much of a singer. The conductor encouraged the choristers to come dressed in costumes reflecting our identity, and our family of six arrived in scout uniforms, as scouting is another activity we’re all involved in together.
Even today, we often find ourselves breaking into song in the car, reminiscing about the various works we’ve sung together. It’s been incredible to watch the kids grow from child sopranos to covering all the voice parts – soprano, alto, tenor, and bass!
Currently, some of them have continued their journey in the performing arts, while others have found different passions.
My eldest has taken a keen interest in composition and is a budding composer. He’s eager to further his studies in this field soon. On the other hand, my second child, who I travelled to Bratislava with, is studying abroad to become a music therapist. It’s a perfect fit for her since it combines her love for singing with her heart for helping people.
Seeing my children pursue their own paths within the arts fills me with pride. It’s wonderful to see them find their passions and carve out their own creative journeys.
What’s next for VOS Ladies Choir?
Quoting our Artistic Director, Darius Lim’s words, the ambition for VSL is to rise as a distinguished national female ensemble, renowned for empowering and uplifting women from varied backgrounds and demographics. This vision features an ensemble that thrives not merely under the guidance of a single conductor but through the collective efforts of its members, who generously contribute to the community with their musical and artistic prowess. Committed to relentless innovation, VSL aims to broaden the scope and enrich the landscape of choral music in Singapore.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Hwee Ling! Keep up with the Voices of Singapore on their website and socials to stay updated on their upcoming shows!
