On International Women's Day, we want to kickstart the conversations that will help us raise empowered young ladies…
Today is International Women’s Day (8 March 2023). It’s a day that has been marked since 1975 and, in our opinion, is much needed in today’s world. Combine the forces of hate, climate change and the pesky pandemic, and global life is challenging enough. Add gender equality to the mix and, as a parent of daughters, you’ve got some serious responsibility resting on your shoulders (and that’s on top of all the everyday parenting dilemmas like disciplining your kids, filling them in on puberty and having The Sex Talk). Now more than ever, we must have conversations about gender equality with our daughters from an early age, and International Women’s Day is a great time to start!
International Women’s Day was created to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women, and to encourage girls – no matter their situation – to feel empowered, and to have their human rights fulfilled. Gender equality is a tough nut to crack, but it starts at home, where we can raise questions with our children (both girls and boys), and lead by example to quash the societal norms suggesting that women are somehow inferior. We love that Emma Watson demystified feminism with one quick quip: “If you believe in equality, you’re a feminist. Sorry to tell you.”
So, first up, here are a few things we should be saying to our daughters to help empower their minds and eradicate gender stereotypes. Then, check out what Ramita Anand, founder of Elevate.RA, recommends when it comes to developing our daughter’s key skills to transform them into the next generation of kick-ass, empowered women!
Psst – you can gain more recommendations from Ramita during our podcast convo, How to raise our children to be feminists…
9 things we should be saying to our daughters
1. Girls are badass
Girls can do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that boys can do. And by this we mean doing acts of kick-assery things like leading a country (Jacinda Ardern, we’re with you!), riding diggers in pink tutus and becoming one of the world’s biggest pop stars (all hail queens Beyoncé!). Arming our daughters with enough self-confidence and self-worth to stand up for themselves and what they believe in will stand them in good stead to fight for what they deserve (like equal pay and opportunity).
2. Toys are not gender-specific
Just because department stores have gender-specific toy aisles, doesn’t mean trucks are for boys and dolls are for girls. It’s super-important that we buy all types of toys for our girls because conventionally “boy-branded” science kits may just inspire them to become the next NASA astronaut. And don’t even get us started on pink princess Lego. We say leave it to girls to decide what they want to play with and when (quite likely, babies one day and toy soldiers the next).
3. There is no such thing as a girlie activity
Taunts like “you run like a girl” and “boys don’t cry” echo long-held ridiculous beliefs that football is for boys and ballet is for girls. Not in 2023, people! Demonstrate that gender is not a limitation by encouraging your daughter to play rugby and teaching them to include that little boy in their flower-arranging workshop. The aim of the game is equality and not reverse-stereotyping, so it’s okay if your daughter wants to drop karate in favour of singing. Whatever makes them happy!
4. You are perfect just the way you are
It’s all too tempting to say to a little girl, “Oh, don’t you look pretty today.” Instead, notice something unique about them – like the fact that they’re carrying a favourite book or toy hamster – and talk about that. Ideas of traditional, external beauty are outdated. Tell girls they are perfect as they are, not because of their face, their hair colour or their dress size, but because they are beautiful on the inside (kind, clever, confident and a good friend).
At the same time, it’s important to encourage positive body image. Celebrate the fact that bodies come in a wonderful array of shapes and sizes, and teach girls to love and care for themselves throughout their lives. This lesson starts at home with you showing your daughters that you love and appreciate your own post-baby body.
5. You can make your own fashion decisions
There’s no law to say girls have to wear pink dresses and have long, flowing locks. It’s a whole lot easier to pull stunts on your skateboard when wearing jeans and Converse sneakers. Fashion should always be an expression of how you feel and what you love. If your daughter wants to cut her hair short like Shiloh (yes, Angelina Jolie’s daughter) and wear shorts and T-shirts, that’s awesome. And if she insists on wearing a Princess Sophia or superwoman costume for a week straight, that’s okay too (provided it’s washed once in a while). Allow your girls to build a varied wardrobe of clothes that they love. And have the strength to tolerate eyebrow-raising outfits without judgement or comment.
6. Be yourself
If you say nothing else to your daughters, tell them to always stay true to themselves. Teach them to never underestimate the importance of being yourself, not a version of yourself that you think other people find more likeable. Under no circumstances should they change who they are to please others. Reassure them that they shouldn’t care if not everyone likes them. That is normal and okay. They won’t want to be friends with everyone they meet either.
7. Call out sexism!
Gender equality has come a long way. But there are still loads of examples of sexism in everyday life. If you’re watching a TV show with your kids and notice that all the doctors are men and the nurses are women, call out the sexism. And as your girls become older, simply ask them, “Do you think anything seems wrong with this picture?” Chances are they’ll pretty quickly pick up negative gender stereotyping without your prompting.
8. Learn from how we act as parents
As their first teachers, kids look up to us and learn from our behaviour. By role modelling an equal, unbiased relationship with your partner or friends, your daughters will see that gender really is irrelevant in the modern home. Regardless of whether your family has a stay-at-home mum, stay-at-home dad or two working parents, make sure to share the housework, childcare and other roles (like nappy changing, cooking and cleaning). Empower your girls by teaching them conventionally male jobs (like fixing a leaking tap or hanging a painting) as well as how to make a mean lasagne.
9. Never lose sight of who you are
Life doesn’t end when you become a mum. Teach your daughters that being a mum and a career woman are not mutually exclusive. Tell them they’ll continue to be brilliant, independent women with hopes and dreams. They’ll just have more love in their hearts!
5 key skills to teach our daughters
To really dig deep into female empowerment, we turned to Ramita Anand for some sound advice. Ramita is the founder of Elevate.RA – an educational mentoring service designed to empower young girls to help them lead remarkable lives. She has over 15 years of experience working with students in classrooms and in one-on-one settings. In addition to her hands-on work, she frequently speaks and writes about learning differences, the benefits of mentorship, girls’ empowerment, and more. Here are her tips on teaching five critical skills that our girls need to develop in order to grow into the future leaders we can be proud of…
1. The skill of self-belief
Encourage girls to look inwards to accept themselves, and the things that make them unique. A great way to start is by highlighting and celebrating any achievement, big or small. This helps stop the cycle of comparison and increases their confidence so they can learn how to accept and love themselves.
Instilling a shift in their growth mindset will help to build confidence and allow them to further refine and develop their inner voice. By teaching our girls to change their built-in thought patterns, we can help alter their approach to new challenges, foster new growth, and feed their brains with greater optimism and less self-doubt.
2. The skill to actively listen
By teaching girls active listening, we encourage them to develop the important skill of empathy. Girls, tweens, and teens are inherently more inwardly concerned, but if they learn the skills of active listening while they’re young, it will teach them how to look outward and embrace a new perspective.
Learning how to hear and absorb the perspective of others is key. Not only is it an essential component of empathy, but it can also help them develop skills like problem-solving, teamwork and leadership. Nurturing active listeners may begin in the classroom or at home. Once kids learn these skills, it will help improve their relationships for the rest of their lives.
3. The skill to embrace failure
Setbacks are a part of life. Instead of protecting our girls from these key learning experiences, we need to teach them how to fail. Being able to get back up after being knocked down, and embracing the learning experience is an important life skill. After all, understanding how to prepare ourselves for tough situations is a key tool when building resilience. The more resilient our girls are, the better they’ll be able to accept and learn from failure and reject preconceived notions of perfection.
4. The skill to feel
Every girl should learn how to be in touch with her emotions. They should understand how to accept them, name them, and relate to them. This will help foster healthier and more meaningful relationships. Having greater emotional intelligence is something we can teach our girls. We want them to learn how to be balanced and measured in their responses and actions, rather than being afraid of change. Developing this sense of self-awareness will provide the platform from which they can make better decisions academically, socially, and emotionally.
5. The skill to model kindness
Fundamentally, our goal should be to build an interconnected world, one where we can depend on each other and build more diverse networks. One with stronger communities and greater reliance on each other, rather than a world where we only see each other as competition. This, in essence, is the world that we want our children to grow up in.
One of the best ways to facilitate the creation of a more interconnected, loving, and diverse world is to model it for our young girls. By showing them acts of collaboration and kindness on a daily basis, we can demonstrate a more positive way of connecting with the world. By showing them that it’s ok to ask for help, collaborate, and be kind, we model the types of behaviour that will pay immense dividends throughout their life.
So, this International Women’s Day, let’s embrace these attributes and model positive behaviour for the girls in our lives. By teaching them these skills and empowering our daughters, we can raise our girls to be strong women who lead with compassion and lift each other up. Amen to THAT!