The violence unfolding in Israel and the Gaza Strip is in every headline at the moment, shocking the entire world. But how do you approach talking about the topic with your kids?
Natural disasters, political upheaval and tragedy have cataclysmic effects on the global stage, impacting economies, governance and the human psyche. Recent events in Israel and the Gaza Strip are beyond heartbreaking and difficult for anyone to comprehend, let alone our kids. These are dark days for Jewish people, Palestinians, and anyone concerned about the future of the Middle East. In Israel and the Gaza Strip, children fear when the next attack will occur.
While news outlets worldwide report tragedy after tragedy, our kids will likely have seen the headlines. Often, it is tempting to shield kiddos from global affairs. After all, why should they worry about matters outside of PAW Patrol and Peppa Pig? However, kiddos are growing up faster and have access to media in ways that we didn’t. They might likely access news in ways we do not expect, so isn’t it better to get them up to speed in an age-appropriate manner instead of learning it from an unreliable source?
Nevertheless, such distressing topics can be tough for their little minds. Hence, here’s a primer on how to talk them through difficult news.
Tips on talking to kids about other distressing events in the world
1. Make time to talk about what’s going on
Even if you haven’t had any discussions about what happened, your kids may have heard about the violence through the media or from classmates. Their version/s of the event may differ from what has been reported. Assure them that it’s okay to talk about sad or scary events, even if they do not directly impact them. Let their questions be your guide as to how much information to provide. Answering their queries is an opportune time to render support as your kids begin to understand the crisis and its responses.
Remember, always talk to kiddos in an age-appropriate manner. These conversations will look different if chatting to a preschooler versus a teen. For example, a preschooler might not need to know too much about the distressing matters but might prefer to understand them narratively. A teen can somewhat understand governance and how conflict can impact innocent civilians. When discussing conflict and displacement, it is also important to be aware of your stance and biases, looking deeply into the words you use and which side of the conflict you might be discussing.
This leads us to the next point…
2. Explain honestly but not explicitly
Depending on your child’s age, there are ways to divulge information about the current issues without going into specifics. Keep it brief and simple for the littlies as it could be quite difficult and scary for them to comprehend. You don’t have to bring the topic up unless they ask you or you overhear them talking about it.
Tweens and teens are more likely to know about natural disasters, conflict, displacement, etc. Be honest and have direct conversations with them, answer their questions, and listen to what they have to say. Remind them to communicate their feelings with someone they trust.
3. Reassure them that they are safe
Reassure your kids but refrain from telling them that this incident is “an anomaly” and “unlikely to happen here”; it’s better to err on the side of caution rather than make assumptions. Let your kids talk about their feelings when they’re ready, help put them into perspective, and assist them in expressing these feelings appropriately. Validate your children’s emotions.
Also, share your feelings about what’s going on. Admit that you’re feeling sad and helpless. This lets your kids know they are not alone in dealing with their feelings and fears.
4. Observe your child’s emotional state
If your children are not ready to talk about their feelings about distressing news, it’s okay. Or, they may be unable or even want to express their emotions verbally. Be patient and give them the space they need until they’re ready. In the meantime, continue to observe them.
Changes in behaviour, appetite and sleep patterns can indicate a child’s level of anxiety or discomfort when they become aware of sad or shocking news. In most cases, these symptoms will ease with reassurance and time. However, if they still exhibit signs of anxiety and/or depression over time, speak with a healthcare or mental health professional for guidance. Also, it might be useful to check out this episode of the Growing Pains podcast on teenagers’ mental health and ways you can support them.
5. Limit exposure to news coverage
This is an arduous task to handle, seeing as attacks are being reported in the news and media. Did you know that according to research, some children believe that the events are reoccurring every time they see a television replay of the news footage? So folks, be mindful when trying to catch up with the news and even when having conversations about the tragedy. Or better yet, only do it when you know the little people are not around.
6. Maintain your routines
Get plenty of rest, eat regularly, and continue doing fun things like arts & crafts, spending time outdoors, or even reading. Remember that kids still need to be kids! Motivate them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Keeping to a regular schedule maintains the semblance of normalcy in your life.
Also, don’t skimp on physical affection. Hugs and kisses go a long way towards providing inner security. Kiddos will feel like you’re protecting them from the outside world. And that’s what us parents always want to do for our children, right?
7. Explain the facts
Events like this are often mired in bias, controversial views, and even taking sides. At the same time, it might be difficult to be objective, given your leanings. It is crucial to remember bloodshed is not something to take sides in.
While discussing the topic will help children understand the event and process the news, make sure to stick to the facts.
You can also help your child understand how such events are handled locally. For example, share with them about SGSecure, a national movement that is one of the ways in which Singapore is responding to the global terrorism threat. Public education on what to do in such situations is constantly ongoing. There is no specific or credible intelligence of an imminent terrorist attack against Singapore. However, the terrorism threat to Singapore remains probable.
How can you help victims of the Israel-Palestine conflict?
At the heart of any conflict and tension are innocent civilians whose lives are in peril in the wake of what feels like senseless violence. Upon learning about the issues, kiddos might like to find ways to help people going through these challenging events. This can feel empowering for them no matter how tiny the effort. Here are some neutral organisations calling for peace and helping the victims of this war on both sides:
Established in 1863, the International Committee of the Red Cross operates internationally, helping people affected by conflict and armed violence and promoting the laws that protect victims of war. An independent and neutral organization, its mandate stems essentially from the Geneva Conventions of 1949. The ICRC is funded mainly by voluntary donations from governments and the National Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies. The group has pleaded for an end to the ongoing conflict and commits to helping those affected. You can help here.
Doctors Without Borders or Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) provide independent, impartial medical humanitarian assistance to the people who need it most. The organisation is committed to caring for people affected by conflict, disease outbreaks, natural and human-made disasters, and exclusion from health care in more than 70 countries. Donate here to support efforts to help victims of the conflict.
Save the Children International is a charity organisation that champions the rights and interests of children worldwide. With 25,000 dedicated staff across 116 countries, the organisation responds to major emergencies and delivers innovative development programmes to ensure children’s voices are heard through our campaigning to build a better future for and with children. Donate here to their efforts to support children on both sides of the conflict.
Our hearts go out to all the families affected by the violence on both sides of the Israel-Palentine conflict.
