April is Autism Awareness Month! From learning to accept her son's diagnosis to empowering him in his journey to independence at just seven years old, mum of three Dhamirah shares how a strong Instagram community and family support keep her going
Simple things like pointing, making eye contact and verbalising wants and needs usually come naturally for neurotypical children – but in the case of seven-year-old Adam, who has autism, his parents had to wait longer before they became regular actions for their son. Now, he manages to walk home after school independently, try new foods, and even helps in the kitchen, and his mum Dhamirah doesn’t take any of these everyday circumstances for granted.
Since 2022, Dhamirah has been sharing about Adam’s journey with autism through the @adamautismawareness account. What started as a platform to share about his early signs and bite-sized tips for other families in the same boat has now grown into a community made up of parents of children with autism all over the world! Below she shares what it’s been like navigating it all, with two other children in tow.
Hi Dhamirah! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?
Hi! I’m Dhamirah, a wife to my amazing partner, Fazli, and a mother to three beautiful children — Adam, Ayra, and Aydi. My eldest, Adam, is on the autism spectrum, which has shaped much of our journey as a family. Through our experiences, I’ve become passionate about advocating for autism awareness and supporting other parents navigating similar paths. I also create content on parenting, lifestyle, and travel while sharing real, unfiltered moments from our lives.
Can you share a bit about your son’s autism diagnosis and what those early days were like?
Thankfully, by the time we went for Adam’s autism diagnosis, I had already reached a place of acceptance. So when the doctor confirmed it, it felt more like validation than shock. It was no longer, “Adam is suspected to be on the spectrum.” It became, “Adam is diagnosed with Level 2 autism.” It was real.
But the early days? They were hard. Really hard. I grieved, almost every day. When I first suspected Adam was on the spectrum, I had just given birth to Ayra. Adam was only 18 months old, and I was in the thick of postpartum emotions, confused, overwhelmed, and completely lost on this unexpected path.
Adam had always been an easy baby. No fuss, no tantrums, no struggles with travel. He was my dream baby. And then, almost overnight, that fairytale came to an end. We didn’t see it coming. But that’s the thing about autism, it’s a hidden disability. And when reality hit, it hit hard.
What inspired you to start sharing your experiences on Instagram?
Honestly, it started with a simple intention, to raise awareness about autism. I didn’t realise at first that what I was sharing wasn’t just awareness, but also acceptance. It was me embracing our journey with Adam and, in turn, helping others do the same.
I also didn’t expect to connect with so many people who were experiencing similar struggles. But as I shared more of our everyday moments, the highs, the lows, the raw emotions, I started hearing from parents who felt seen, understood, and less alone. That’s when I knew this was bigger than just our story. It became a space for connection, support, and breaking the stigma around autism.
How did you approach fostering independence and self-regulation in your son? Were there specific moments that kickstarted it?
To be honest, fostering independence has always been important to me. As the eldest sibling in my family, I was raised to be independent from a young age, and that shaped who I am today. Naturally, I wanted to instil that same sense of independence in my children, even if Adam’s journey looked different from a neurotypical child’s.
Of course, independence didn’t just happen overnight. We had to work on it, both at home and through therapies and school. One key moment was when we noticed Adam’s interest in helping in the kitchen. Instead of just letting it be a passing interest, we turned it into an opportunity to build his life skills, teaching him simple tasks, giving him responsibilities, and making sure he felt capable and included.
As for self-regulation, that has been an ongoing journey. Adam still seeks comfort through hugs when he’s overwhelmed, and we always offer that safe space for him. But over time, we’ve also gently introduced strategies to help him manage his emotions, like breathing exercises, stepping aside when needed, and counting to calm himself down.
The progress has been incredible. He doesn’t have meltdowns the way he used to. Instead of screaming or crying uncontrollably, he might shed a few tears but quickly finds his own way to cope. He’s learning, in his own time and in his own way. At the end of the day, he’s human too. He just needs to find the rhythm that works best for him. And honestly, Adam’s been doing so well.
Are there any particular milestones or breakthroughs that stand out in your journey so far?
There have been so many milestones, some that might seem small to other parents, but to us, they’re everything. Things like maintaining eye contact, improving his listening skills, developing his speech, learning to point, and refining his motor skills were all things we had to work so hard on. These weren’t just delays, they were real struggles because Adam didn’t meet the typical developmental milestones.
But if I had to pick one that stands out the most, it would be his recent step toward independence, when he told us he was ready to go home from the pickup point on his own. That moment hit differently. It wasn’t just about physical independence, it was his way of saying, “Trust me, I can do this.”
Another huge moment has been with food. Adam has always been restrictive with what he eats, sticking to his safe foods. But lately, he’s been more open to trying new things. Not everything, of course, but every time he surprises us by being willing to taste something new, it’s a big deal.
When raising an autistic child, the smallest wins are actually huge wins. And we celebrate every single one.
How do you balance stepping in to support him while also giving him the space to grow independently?
I always stay close, watching from a short distance, ready to step in if he needs me. But I make it a point to ask first, “Do you need my help?” instead of assuming he does.
As a parent of a child with special needs, it’s so easy to want to do everything for our child. We instinctively want to protect them, to make things easier. But sometimes, in doing so, we forget to trust that they’re capable.
So I remind myself to believe in him and to give him the space to try, to figure things out, to grow. But at the same time, I’m always on the sidelines, ready to support him whenever he needs me. It’s a balance of trust and presence, and it’s something I’m still learning every day.
Have you ever found difficulty in helping extended family members understand Adam’s condition?
Yes, especially with the older generation. In the beginning, there was a lot of hope, or maybe denial that Adam would eventually “catch up.” They would say things like, “He’ll talk when he’s ready,” or “He’ll be normal soon.”
It was hard for them to fully accept at first. Autism isn’t something they grew up understanding, so it took time.
But as the years went by, they started to see Adam flourish in his own way. Even though the differences between him and a neurotypical child remained clear, they learned to embrace him for who he is.
The biggest shift? They stopped asking me, “Is he going to get better?” Instead, they started celebrating his progress, just like we do.
Who would you say are part of your support system?
My partner, my parents, and my siblings are my BIGGEST support system. They’ve been there through every high and low, and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them.
I’m not currently part of any formal support groups, but I have something just as special: an incredible Instagram community that I’ve built over time. The love, understanding, and encouragement from parents who relate to our journey mean the world to me. They stand by our family, and for that, I’m forever grateful.
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Your Instagram content has resonated with so many people all over the world! What kind of responses have you received, and did any reactions surprise you?
One thing I didn’t fully realise about myself is that I naturally have a positive outlook on life. So when I share about autism, I don’t just focus on the struggles, I try to show a different perspective, one that embraces the beauty in our journey.
Most of the responses I receive reflect that. People often tell me that my content brings a sense of hope, that they feel inspired by how I support Adam, and that my presence in the community is uplifting. That means a lot to me because I always strive to be as raw and authentic as possible. Social media often paints a filtered version of reality, but I believe it’s important to show the real side of things, the good, the tough, and everything in between.
As for surprising reactions? Sometimes people comment that Adam is still too young to be independent, which reminds me how different perspectives can be. And of course, there are always a few trolls, but nothing that truly fazes me. At the end of the day, I focus on those who find value and connection in our journey.
What do you wish more people knew about autism in children?
Autistic children are a gift. But too often, society sees them as a burden. They’re not. They’re human, just like everyone else. They simply experience life differently from neurotypical children. If more people chose to focus on their capabilities instead of their challenges, include them instead of isolating them, they’d be amazed at what these children can do.
There are so many misconceptions about autism, but one of the biggest is the idea that it needs to be ‘cured’. Autism is not a disease, it’s a neurological difference. People need to understand that. Unfortunately, there are individuals and companies profiting off desperate parents, selling ‘detox’ treatments as a so-called cure. It’s heartbreaking to see vulnerable families being misled.
Instead of looking for a cure, we should be focusing on understanding, acceptance, and support. That’s what truly makes a difference in the lives of autistic children and their families.
You recently shared about the stress levels experienced by parents of children with autism. What are some practices that help you overcome such stressful periods?
Take the time to grieve, to cry, to break down if you need to, but then, find the strength to stand back up again.
Parenting a child with autism comes with its challenges, and the stress can feel overwhelming at times. But whenever I struggle, I remind myself: If it’s hard for me, it’s even harder for Adam. Our children feel so much. They see us, they hear us, and even if they don’t express it, they know when we’re hurting. That’s why I try to be mindful of my own emotions because my energy affects him too.
For me, keeping busy helps. I like planning ahead, thinking of ways I can support my child and my family. Music is another escape, I put on a good song, take a moment for myself, or dive into a hobby. Reading motivational and inspiring quotes also gives me perspective when I need it most.
Right now, I’m channeling a lot of my emotions into writing an e-book about our journey. My hope is that it will help other parents feel seen, understood, and less alone. Because no matter how tough this journey gets, we’re never truly alone, we just need to find the right support.
It’s really a shift of perspective. A positive mindset. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds but trust me, it makes a whole lot of difference.
What advice do you have for parents beginning a similar journey?
There won’t always be a village. Sometimes, your village is just the four walls of your home. And that’s okay.
But don’t let that make you feel alone because you’re not. Find your people, whether it’s a supportive friend, an online community, or someone who just gets it. This journey can feel isolating, but the truth is, so many others are walking a similar path. And sometimes, when we feel like we’re facing the hardest struggle, there’s someone out there going through something even tougher.
Most importantly, don’t give up. No matter how overwhelming it gets, keep going. Celebrate every single milestone, even the tiniest ones, because they matter. Progress is progress, no matter how small. And one day, you’ll look back and realise just how far you and your child have come.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Dhamirah! Make sure you follow Dhamirah and Adam’s journey on Instagram @adamautismawareness
