Leaving preschool to enter Primary 1 is a huge milestone for every child. As a mum, I'm equal parts worried and excited for my daughter to embark on this new chapter. Where did the time go?
My love,
I can’t believe you’re entering Primary 1 soon. It feels like just yesterday we were getting you fitted for your kindergarten uniform. Everything looked so oversized on your tiny frame! And now your uniform is getting a little snug because we didn’t want to spend money getting a bigger size – you’re only going to be wearing it for a little while more after all.
My beloved almost-7-year-old, how much you’ve grown – you started kindergarten only saying a few simple words. Now you’re giving us full monologues and breakdowns of all the day’s school happenings. Your art began as splotchy paint splatters and fingerprints. Now you’re drawing pictures of yourself, all our family members and even your friends with elaborate backdrops during break time. Your teachers say you’re doing pretty well in your mother tongue class, but of course you’ll only speak to me in English! So I guess we should be proud of your early code-switching skills.
You ask so many questions that make me stop and think. Like, “How many stars are there?” or “Why do I only see [insert relative] sometimes?” or “What happens if someone does something to me that I don’t like, in the new school?”
Then I have to remind myself: while you’re a lot more independent now and not as needy as you were as a baby…you’re still so little. You still want your questions answered kindly, your occasional outbursts understood, and the option of a big hug after a long day.
And I just want to say I’ll always be here. I know how nervous you are about going to ‘big school’, and sometimes you’re not sure how to articulate it. You’ve been a little more emotional than usual lately every time we try to explain the realities of primary school. It’s slowly sinking in that there will be no more one-on-one teacher check-ins at the door, no more in-class breakfasts with your friends before lessons start, no more nap times followed by tea break with your favourite blueberry muffins made by the kitchen aunties…
Everything’s about to get bigger, less ‘sayang sayang’, more ‘sit down and listen to teacher’. But I also see your excitement! The feeling of a new environment, making new friends, being a ‘big kid’ and ordering your own food at the canteen… Other mummies and daddies with primary school-going children have told us that the adjustment will take a few months. Mummy and Daddy are prepared. We’ll be here, with open arms, ready to listen. Sometimes we’ll be at work. But when we come home, for sure.
As the last hints of babyhood disappear and your features reveal the young person you’re growing into, I’m always on edge of when your childlike wonder and innocence will suddenly turn into teen sullenness. Call me pessimistic, but I know it will come one day (cue: “Mummy what’s ‘pessa-miss-tick’?”). I was a moody teen at some point too! But I hope it won’t be overnight. Rather, that the change will be a gradual turning of perspective and maturity, like a leaf changing colour with the seasons…or like the blooming of those pretty flowers you always pick for me around the neighbourhood.
Love,
Mummy
