Last week, news broke out that students in Singapore had been shown presentation slides on the Israel-Hamas conflict. So now that they've been exposed to the topic in school, how can parents talk about it? A family therapist shares some tips.
You might have heard about the uproar from parents that happened last week – news came out that children in Singapore had been shown presentation slides on the Israel-Hamas conflict during their hour-long Character and Citizenship Education (CCE) lessons. Some students had the slides presented to them during an address in the school hall. The students who were shown this presentation are in upper primary levels, secondary school and junior college, aged from 10 to 18 years old.
Some parents were surprised to hear questions from their kids about Israel and Hamas when they returned from school, as they weren’t notified that this new material was being rolled out. Fellow parents pointed out that a few things stood out when the lesson material was leaked – they alleged that there was not enough historical context, the news headlines cited only came from one source, and there was no mention of the rising death toll in Gaza. The Ministry of Education has since announced that the Israel-Hamas lessons will be further customised by age group and more support will be given to teachers conducting the lessons.
Many students are now hyper aware of the tragic situation in Gaza, and they need help unpacking what they’ve read and been told. It’s hard to know what exactly to say to your child about the pain and suffering that’s going on in the world. It can be especially challenging when children talk to us about news or information from elsewhere that seems to go against what they know, believe, feel or even experience.
So now that they’ve been exposed to the topic in school, how can we talk about it?
Neurodiversity-affirming practitioner and InterPlay child and family therapist Dr. Hana Alhadad shares some points to consider when supporting your child and processing this difficult topic together.
1. Check in with your child
“Listen to your child’s questions,” says Dr. Hana. “Create a safe space with your child to discuss what they are learning and thinking about in school and elsewhere. A ‘safe space’ can mean different things to different children, especially neurodivergent children. A neurodiversity-affirming way of creating a sensory-safe space is to empower your child with control and offer choices to meet their needs. Ask your child what makes a space feel safe for them. Respond with empathy, validate their feelings and stay curious. Some children may not feel comfortable to talk. Another way to connect is through play. Play provides a safe space for children to process, express and understand their emotions. You could have some toys they like, or drawing materials in the space. The play becomes the language they use to communicate with.”
2. Seek well-rounded information
Dr. Hana advises, “Avoid one-sided information, propaganda, misinformation or fake news.” As information is freely available in Singapore, we should seek out news from multiple sources. “If you feel your child has been fed propaganda, misinformation or are reading fake news, make sure to fact-check, get informed and separate fact from falsehood.”
3. Nurture critical thinking skills
Children in primary and secondary schools may be more vulnerable to propaganda since their critical thinking skills are still developing. “Help your child develop their ability to critically analyse information from different forms of media,” says Dr. Hana. “Encourage questioning, examination of opposing viewpoints, fact-checking, constructive skepticism, and the willingness to follow arguments constructively.”
4. Provide your child with context
It is difficult to critically analyse a topic if you don’t understand the relevant ideas, history and context. “Presenting it in an age-appropriate manner will help – this does not mean that you omit certain historical or current events, but how you discuss it needs to be age-appropriate. You can use a children’s rights perspective based on the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) and discuss relevant articles that apply to their lives and others.”
5. Learn together
“If you are not familiar with the history of genocide, educate yourself alongside your child,” says Dr. Hana. “Reflect on your own biases and prejudices and be open to challenging them. If you realise you have spread misinformation in the past, don’t feel bad. You now know better. And when you know better, you do better. The responsible action would be to acknowledge your mistakes, admit you were misinformed, and stop the spread of false information moving forward.”
6. Let your child express themselves
“Be open to their opinions, feelings and emotions. Share with them your opinions, feelings and emotions. Have an open, authentic discussion. The idea is to teach your child how to evaluate and think critically about the messages they receive and to recognise falsehoods masquerading as truth.”
7. Attune to your own feelings
“Before talking to our children about this, tune in to our own feelings and mental state. In order to be a safe container for our children to process their thoughts and feelings, it is best that we are in a state of equilibrium and not emotionally charged.”
8. Identify ways to transmute feelings, and remind kids to remain hopeful
You can support your child in finding ways to transmute feelings of sadness, fear, anxiety or helplessness into feelings of love, peace and hope through creative means (art, music, writing, dance etc.), or purposeful action
(fundraising, donation of goods etc).
If your kids are open to going beyond talking and want to offer help, we can highlight that there are many grassroots organisations and individuals in Singapore that have mobilised themselves to help the people in Gaza. RLA Foundation Singapore has collected some $6million in donations that have gone to their on-ground partner the UNRWA, long-time Singaporean social activist Gilbert Goh has collected donations to set up soup kitchens in North Gaza to provide hot meals for Palestinians seeking refuge, and we’ve seen many local small businesses send proceeds of their sales to aid the people in Gaza.
We hope this helps you speak to your kids if they come to you with questions about the situation in Gaza and Israel. Have a suggestion or want to share about how you’ve tackled the topic with your kids? Write to us!
