Gun violence is everywhere in the media today, so why are we letting our kids use them as toys? Here, two mums share their differing opinions.
As parents, we have to make tough decisions every day. It might be as small as what we cook for dinner, or as life-changing as where we send our kids to school. And when it comes to playing with toy guns? That’s a question we’re still asking ourselves: is it safe for kids to play with toy guns, or is it just harmless fun that all kids need exposure to? We asked two mums with two very different opinions this very question. Here are their answers.
Enough with the violence
Here’s why I won’t let my kids play with guns – Jana, mum of two boys
With all the craziness that’s going on in the world today, I think it’s only natural that I refuse to let my kids play with guns. I’m tired of hearing about death and violence. And if I can shelter my kids from it all while I can, I’d most certainly do whatever it takes. Even if it means not allowing them to play with toy guns.
Why guns are a big deal
We don’t talk about guns in our house and my boys don’t consume any media that involves guns or shooting. Granted, they’re only 5 and 3, but I feel proud that we’ve gotten this far with very little exposure to toy guns. They’ve had to buy water guns for their football class, where everyone plays with water guns afterwards and I tried my best not to make a big deal out of it. They’re hidden away in a cupboard now, and that’s where they’re staying.
The thing is, kids need to learn that guns aren’t toys. There is nothing fun about shooting someone and “hurting them”. It is a very serious, powerful object that can destroy lives. It doesn’t matter if they’re covered in rainbows or unicorns — normalising them doesn’t make guns less harmless. And besides, there are other toys out there that are more fun. And heck, probably more educational too.
Why it’s complicated
I’ve read all the arguments. And I get that many toy guns don’t look like deadly weapons. That my kids will eventually grow up and become exposed to TV shows and video games with gun-wielding heroes and bad guys. That the zombie game at the arcade has guns. It’s all around us. How can I stop them from playing with guns forever? How do I know they won’t play with them behind my back?
Another reason it’s complicated: explaining that guns are bad, but then pretending to use them ‘for fun’ is okay — are you scratching your head too? Now, put yourself in a wee kid’s shoes. If it doesn’t make sense to you, you can pretty much guarantee that your kid doesn’t get it either.
…and just when you thought you could take it easy
And just when I think I can relax about my kids playing with guns, I hear news about mass shootings, school shootings, massacres, accidents… These all remind me why I decided to be strict about guns in the first place.
I know that my sons will eventually be exposed to violence. But by not allowing them to play with guns, I feel more at peace, knowing they won’t be perpetuating it — something designed to hurt and destroy — even if it’s just a toy.
Trust is key
Here’s why I let my kids play with guns – Chris, mum of two boys and one girl
Ok so I admit it, I never thought I would be writing an article endorsing kids playing with guns – but the above opinion on banning toy guns struck a chord with me. If only stopping our kids playing with toy guns was going to fix the problem.
The backstory
I did start out with a ‘no toy guns policy’ in my home, and I have never purchased toy guns for my kids. But my kids play with toy guns, and I think it’s ok. Here’s why.
Firstly, my kids are 11, 9 and 6. They are surrounded by and very much influenced by their friends as much as their family. Whilst they do know that every family has different rules, I found it difficult to ‘rule out’ guns being given as presents to my kids at their birthday parties. I didn’t actually think it needed to be said. (When I printed party invitations they didn’t say ‘please do not give my kids toy guns’ – maybe they should have?). So that’s the way toy guns entered our house.
Introducing toy guns and other ‘weapons’
Initially, I would let them play with the guns for a couple of hours and then I would hide the guns away, so as to not have them play with the guns as a go-to game. It was my own personal compromise.
But more recently, I found myself actually endorsing the purchase of a bow and arrow (yes, the real deal) for my son’s Christmas present. Why? Because kids need risk, they need to learn responsibility, and most importantly, we need to be having conversations about all of these things. We need to talk about these things, not avoid them all together.
Another massive part of this purchase decision is the fact that the online gaming world is so ‘fun’, and so easily accessible, that ‘real world toys’ need to be fairly epic to even compete for our kid’s attention. Any parent that has a kid hooked on games will attest to this. So in my house the constant requests for a phone, Gameboy or Nintendo switch is a ‘no’ but a bow and arrow is a ‘yes’.
Trust is key
Of course the bow and arrow is fun, but it is also a lethal weapon – and I want to be able to trust them that they won’t play with it unless an adult is there to supervise them. So far, we have lost no eyeballs, arms or other limbs. I don’t mean to make light of the seriousness of the potential injuries with these toys, but I do want to teach my kids responsibility – because at the end of the day, I will not be here to protect them forever. They will leave home (I am hoping!) and they will need to make their own decisions, and face bad things and good things – but I hope with an honest and trusting relationship with me, this will be easier to face.
Maybe I will regret the bow and arrow decision, (and the toy gun decision?) and maybe this seems crazy to other parents out there – but I don’t think I will regret trusting my kids, and spending the time talking to them so they can make their own judgements. How else can I teach them?
What are your thoughts on kids playing with toy guns? Send us a DM on Instagram and let us know.