It might sound weird, but asking your teen what their current fave TikTok trend may be the gateway to better communication. Psychotherapist Tulika Sahai shares her tips on how to keep teens talking, in light of the tragic story of Adam Raine.
In April 2025, a 16-year-old teen from California took his own life after turning to an AI chatbot for emotional support. Adam Raine struggled silently, pouring his fears and pain into a machine designed to listen — but not truly understand. Despite the chatbot’s constant ‘availability’, it couldn’t replace what he really needed: human connection, empathy, and the safety of being truly seen. The tragic story shook parents and therapists alike, forcing us to rethink how we support our kids’ emotional worlds.
Adam’s story is not an isolated one. Teens today are growing up in a world where emotional struggles are quietly outsourced to screens — whether it’s TikTok ‘therapy’, self-diagnosis on Reddit, or late-night chats with AI. These tools promise support but lack the nuance, warmth, and accountability that only human relationships can provide.
As a psychotherapist, I see this firsthand. Teens are lonelier than ever, yet they hesitate to open up to parents or professionals. They’re drawn to AI because it feels safe — no judgment, no awkward silences, no fear of disappointing someone. But here’s the truth: machines can simulate empathy, but they cannot feel it. And when it comes to emotional wellbeing, feeling truly understood is everything.
Why real-person therapy still matters
Emotions need resonance, not just responses
When your teen shares something vulnerable, a therapist or trusted adult doesn’t just give advice — we attune to their emotional state. A chatbot can mimic care, but it can’t read subtle cues, regulate its own nervous system, or co-regulate with your child.
Therapists hold responsibility and context
AI doesn’t track long-term patterns, family dynamics, or cultural context. A therapist however, sees the whole picture, offering grounded support rather than surface-level reassurance.
Healing happens in safe relationships
Decades of research in psychology and neuroscience show that secure human relationships are what heal trauma, anxiety, and depression — not algorithms.
How to get your teen to keep talking to you
We can’t turn back time on AI, nor should we — but we can strengthen the emotional safety net at home so teens feel less tempted to outsource their struggles. Here’s where to start.
1. Create emotional ‘open windows’
Instead of forcing “serious talks,” invite connection in small, low-pressure ways — during car rides, cooking together, or late-night snacks. These casual moments often open the door to deeper conversations.
Instead of: “Looks like you’re worried about something. Want to talk?” This puts too much pressure on them to open up.
Try: To get them to engage in a chore with you (like folding laundry) and start talking casually about the day and slowly making your way to what’s on their mind. When we are engaged in physical activity, the mind isn’t that protective.
2. Listen without fixing
Many teens shut down because they fear judgment or unsolicited advice. Practise active listening — reflect back what you hear, name their feelings, and resist the urge to problem-solve immediately.
Instead of: “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”
Try: “That sounds really overwhelming. I can see why you’d feel that way.”
3. Be curious about their digital world
Rather than banning AI tools or TikTok completely, stay curious. Ask which creators they follow, what memes they relate to, and yes, even whether they’ve tried talking to an AI bot. Curiosity signals safety; judgment shuts doors.
Try: “Show me your favourite TikTok trend right now.”
4. Model vulnerability
If you want your teen to open up, show them it’s safe by sharing your own feelings in an age-appropriate way. When parents normalize talking about stress, uncertainty, and even failure, kids learn it’s okay to do the same.
Try: Music swaps, like, “Send me one song that matches your mood today — I’ll send you mine.” Or Emoji check-ins: Ask them to text you three emojis that describe how they’re feeling. It’s low-pressure but surprisingly revealing.
5. Ask your teen for help
When you ask a teen to help you in something they are good at, you are enabling their self esteem. IF they feel good, they are more likely to open up.
Try: “Which AI tools are you using? Can you show me how they work?”
6. Build ‘mini rituals’ of connection
Instead of relying on big talks, create small, predictable moments where conversations naturally happen.
Try: Late-night snack chats — keep ice cream or ramen nights just for you two or Friday evening walks — no phones, no agenda. Consistency builds safety. Teens talk when they trust you’ll keep showing up.
Breaking the therapy taboo, and the bottom line
One of the reasons teens hesitate to talk about their struggles is because they’ve absorbed — often silently — that therapy equals something being ‘wrong’. If they sense you see therapy as a last resort, they’re less likely to bring it up. Start reframing therapy as normal, healthy, and proactive — the same way you’d talk about physical fitness, tutoring, or coaching.
Share openly if you’ve been to therapy yourself or know people who have. When kids see you treat emotional support as normal and shame-free, they’re far more likely to ask for help before they hit a breaking point.
By dismantling the taboo, you give your teen permission to say, “I need someone to talk to,” without fear, guilt, or judgment.
Technology is evolving faster than ever, but our kids’ deepest needs haven’t changed. They still crave to be heard, understood, and accepted by the people who love them. AI can be a tool, but it cannot replace human connection.
Adam Raine’s story reminds us that silence can be deadly — not because kids aren’t struggling, but because they often believe no one real can hold their pain. Let’s prove them wrong.
Start small. Lean in. Keep the lines open.
Because the most powerful “mental health app” your teen will ever have… is you.
