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46% of women aged 40 to 54 face the highest burnout risk of any age group. More than half screen positive for depression and anxiety. Over 60% of later-life divorces are initiated by women.
In this conversation, Ange sits down with Amanda Lim and Jasmin Dhillon, hosts of The Forties Formula, who’ve been having the conversations about midlife that most people still aren’t having. Amanda is a Harvard-certified health coach and mum of three who had her third child at 41. Jasmin is an Integrated Health Strategist who hit perimenopause at 36 after giving birth to her twins.
Together, they’ve spent years collecting stories and what they keep hearing from hundreds of women is the same thing: everyone thinks their experience is unique, everyone thinks something is wrong. The rage, the shame, the loneliness. Everyone thinks they’re the only one. They’re not.
They get down to the raw and real, talking about the anger that arrives in your 40s and what it’s actually telling you. The rage is real, and it’s not the same as stress. And it’s not a breakdown either. They share stories of identity crisis, the fear that no one talks about, and what doctors don’t tell you about the changes happening in your body. Is it just age and can we do anything about it?
This is not the fabulous-at-forty version of this talk, but it might be the most useful conversation you’ll need in your 40s. Press play.
What you’ll take away
- Perimenopause can start at 36. Jasmin thought her symptoms (wrist pain, anxiety, heart palpitations, no sleep) were just because of her newborn twins. They weren’t.
- The rage is hormonal, but not in the way you think. Dropping estrogen doesn’t create new anger. It removes your ability to keep masking the feelings that were already there.
- Identity in your 40s doesn’t have to mean replacement. Amanda’s framework: synthesis, not dissonance. The burner analogy will stay with you.
- The mental load doesn’t explode because women suddenly become unreasonable. It explodes because the hormones that helped us stay quiet stop doing that.
- Muscle will save you. Skeletal muscle and the functional strength to use it. Your GP probably hasn’t said this clearly enough.
- Making friends in your 40s starts with knowing who you are first. Show up in places that reflect who you want to be, and stay long enough to become part of it.
- What you think is weird, shameful, or too lonely to say out loud, everyone else is feeling too. That’s the whole point of this conversation.
About The Forties Formula
The Forties Formula is an award-winning podcast named Best Health and Wellness Podcast in Asia 2025 and featured by CNA as one of Singapore’s best podcasts for women. Hosted by Amanda Lim and Jasmin Dhillon, two health coaches and mothers, they bring personal experience and science-led insight to conversations that most people still aren’t having about midlife. Amanda is a Harvard-certified health coach and Director of Singapore’s first metabolic health clinic, where she and her physician husband co-manage patients through fitness and nutrition. Jasmin is an Integrated Health Strategist specialising in gut health, hormone balance, and sustainable nutrition for women in their 40s.
Keep up with The Forties Formula on Youtube, Instagram
Jasmin Dhillon: Eat with Jasmin
Amanda Lim: Lift Clinic
Growing Pains is HoneyKids Asia’s podcast for the conversations you want to have after the kids go to bed.
If this one moved you, share it with a parent who needs to hear it. Or send your feedback and topic suggestions to podcast@honeykidsasia.com — we’d love to hear what you’d like us to talk about next.
Growing Pains is produced in partnership with Poddster, Singapore’s podcast studio.
