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Three parenting philosophies just went head to head, live, in front of an audience, and nobody left the stage unscathed.
Gentle parenting says emotions come first. Tiger parenting says the world is hard, so prepare your kid for it. Authoritative parenting says it is the golden mean. But when three experts actually had to defend their corner out loud, the debate went somewhere none of them expected.
Then the characters came off. What these three actually do when a child melts down in public, when a bad morning starts before 7am, or when grief shows up uninvited, looks nothing like their opening statements.
One of them cried in front of her daughter and let her watch. One of them agreed to cane her kids before she had any. One of them has been told by her own mother that she’s failing her grandkids.
So which style actually works? Stick around for the answer that surprised even the people debating it.
About the Guests
Marissa Nasution is a psychotherapist, conscious parenting specialist, and school counselor with over a million followers on Instagram. A former TV presenter and mother of two, she champions gentle parenting and works with families on emotional intelligence and co-regulation.
Keep up with Marissa:
- Instagram: @marissaln
- Website: https://www.marissanasution.com/about
Anabel Chew is co-founder of a Singapore barre studio and of Tiger Moms Club, a former professional musician, and a mother of two who now homeschools her children.
Keep up with Anabel:
- Instagram:@tigermomsclub, @anabel.chew
Dr. Amrit Kaur is a clinical psychologist with over 15 years of experience across Michigan, New Zealand, and Singapore. She specializes in trauma therapy and advocates for Every Child SG, championing children’s wellbeing and protection.
Keep up with Dr. Amrit:
- LinkedIn: @dramritkaur
- Website: https://dramrit.org/
What You’ll Take Away
- Why the “sweet spot” between two extremes might not be as simple as it sounds
- What actually happens in the body of a tiger parent raised by parents who didn’t push hard enough
- The one phrase from a Singapore anti-abuse campaign that makes people cry when they hear it back
- Why one guest says gentle parenting is the harder path, not the easier one
- The real reason kids misbehave, according to a school counselor who has heard it from hundreds of them
- A German phrase about dirt that changed how one host thinks about her own upbringing
- What happens when a parent lets a child watch them grieve, and where the line is before it becomes too much
Growing Pains is HoneyKids Asia’s podcast for the conversations you want to have after the kids go to bed.
If this one moved you, share it with a parent who needs to hear it. Or send your feedback and topic suggestions to podcast@honeykidsasia.com — we’d love to hear what you’d like us to talk about next.
Growing Pains is produced in partnership with Poddster, Singapore’s podcast studio.
