We chat to RSEW group founder, Roberta Ciccone
If you’re an expat in Singapore, chances are you’re familiar with the online Facebook group known as Real Singapore Expat Wives. Perhaps you’re even a member. With thousands of members, and the same number of opinions, online groups can be a hotbed for controversy. But they can also lend a helping hand to people who simply want to find a handyman to hang their pictures or make like a local and find the best hor fun on the island. Or just plain fun for that matter! We waded into the fray to get the lowdown on why mother of 5 Roberta Ciccone started this latest forum for women who find themselves living in Singapore…
Hi Roberta! First things first: what is the difference between Real Singapore Expat Wives and Singapore Expat Wives?
I can’t speak for a group that I’m not a member of, but what I can say for Real Singapore Expat Wives is that we are everyday expat women; stay at home moms, working moms, entrepreneurs, professionals and everything in between. We encourage freedom of expression and open discussion.
You were once a member of SEW – what made you decide to leave the SEW group?
People very much need a place that belongs to them.
So this is what made you decide to start the Real Singapore Expat Wives group?
Myself and some other like-minded women wanted a place where we were completely free to have open discussions without fear of judgement. We wanted other women to feel comfortable asking questions and sharing their experiences without worrying that their conversations might be shut down or deemed offensive somehow. “Post in Peace” is our motto.
You were quite a frequent commenter on Singapore Expat Wives threads – what motivates you to get engaged?
I’ve been an expat for 18 years and very much know what it’s like to be and feel alone. I have lived in Singapore for 8 years and I like to share any information that will make someone’s expat life easier.
Things can lost in translation when having exchanges online versus in person, and no matter how much you try to explain yourself people may get the wrong end of the stick. Do you have any golden rules to avoid this? I’m not sure I would say it’s lost in translation. In my role it’s more like trying to do 10 things at once. As admin we often must be each other’s voice of reason. We actually have one admin that is pretty good at being the voice of reason and putting us in our place. The golden rule for myself is to be kind. If I come across wrong I have no problem apologizing.
What’s the criteria for membership of RSEW and what does the group offer?
We require potential members to be expats and to be currently residing in Singapore. We do not discriminate between race or country of origin. An expat is an expat, and this also includes permanent residents. A lot of expat women have their own businesses and we allow members to spruik it on the page once a month.
RSEW is a fairly new group – how is it going and growing?
We started Real Singapore Expat Wives 3 months ago and currently we have over 5,000 members. On average we receive 300 requests a week for Real Singapore Expat Wives. Our classifieds page currently has close to 3000 members and 200 requests a week for membership. We check requests daily and add promptly. It’s growing well and we’re glad we can offer this service to expat women in Singapore. We’ve got some new developments in the pipeline too in regards to a website and supporting local charities, so watch this space!
We hear that the classifieds section is hot property and how to be accepted to that section is the topic of many a discussion on various forums in Singapore. What’s the real story?
Singapore Expat Wives Classifieds is a service page for members of Real Singapore Expat Wives. It’s a place where members can buy, sell or trade their items easily and with uncomplicated posting guidelines. If you are eligible to join Real Singapore Expat Wives, joining our classifieds is very easy. We check and approve requests daily. We do not allow business listings.
Online groups can become unwieldy and tricky to manage, especially when differing opinions, cultures and emotions play in to it. What are the rules of engagement on RSEW?
As administrators, as women, we are realistic and we ask for understanding from our members as the page is constantly growing. We are always open to suggestions and, as in any successful business, our guidelines must evolve to ensure continuous improvement. Members are grown women and so we, as administrators, don’t interfere in topics being discussed. All we ask of our members is: “Don’t be a bully and don’t be a bigot”.
In a forum where women can ask questions about life in Singapore or make suggestions, what sorts of topics are covered?
All sorts of things! Women share birth announcements, where to shop for certain items, recommendations for tradesmen, travel tips, doctor and school recommendations, paperwork required for helper transfers and anything and everything related to everyday life in Singapore. Whether you prefer a champagne brunch or a hawker centre lunch, if you have a question we can answer it or one of our members will.
It’s human nature for us to compare ourselves against others (like trying to get through a yoga class without wishing you could be as effortlessly stretchy as the person in front of you). Do you think that social media makes us compare ourselves more than we should, especially in a forum like this?
I don’t believe it is social media alone that makes us compare ourselves, I think that life can make us compare ourselves to each other. I actually like myself for who I am. I am neither afraid to apologize nor admit I am wrong. Those who feel the need to compare I leave with the wise words of my then 6 year old, “The world would be a boring place if we were all the same.”
Facebook seems tailor made for these sorts of groups but what do you think of specially designed forums that hang off websites?
I think website forums can be a good thing but are often over-shadowed by Facebook.
So you won’t be migrating the RSEW group to a forum on the site you are developing?
I think this group is made for Facebook. The aim of the website is for those who have no interest in going on a group to ask questions but still need the answers.
Thanks for sharing all about Real Singapore Expat Wives. A lot of us have wanted to know more about it. But one final question – how do you manage all of this with 5 kids including a baby?
I worked in a high powered job that required multitasking, foresight and extreme organization. I pride myself in bringing those qualities into my family life. As with anything social media can be addictive. We must learn to put our phone away and just be with those around us. Electronic devices are not allowed at the dinner table, and we have no FB vacations. Thankfully Real Singapore Expat Wives has a fabulous team of admin that are able to fill in for each other.