5.52am: wake to the wails of the baby. Try to convince her to go back to sleep, but she’s more keen on whacking your face. Need to work on your negotiation skills.
6.30am: after 38 minutes of trying to keep Baby quiet and happy in a futile attempt to Teach Her To Sleep Through Till 7am, finally give in to her demands for milk and settle in on the couch for a micro nap.
6.31am: the toddler wakes, bellowing “I want a cuuuddle” throughout the house.
8am: Load Baby and Toddler into highchairs. Breakfast carnage commences.
8.29am: breakfast carnage concludes. Say a silent “thank you” to phil&teds for making a highchair noticeably absent of cracks and seams, which every parent knows are just hiding places for festering three-week-old banana mash.
9am: Toddler sits in converted poppy highchair (now “my chair”) with adorable pleading look on face. Suspect Toddler believes this look will increase her chances of watching movies on the iPad. Will. Not. Cave. Yet.
9.10am: with the iPad now firmly entrenched in Toddler’s hands, and Toddler’s bum firmly entrenched in her chair, throw Baby and 17 toys into the Traveller at the bathroom door to allow for much-needed shower.
9.12am: shower while dreaming of actually using Traveller for the purpose of travelling. At only 2.8kg, it might just be easy enough to carry down to the beach and shield Baby from ingesting her body weight in sand.
9.40am: load Toddler into stroller and Baby into carrier. Feel grateful for easy access to your things stashed in the tray under the pram. Even a ‘quick’ trip to the shops needs more stuff than a Kilimanjaro expedition.
9.52am: almost rearrange your face after tripping on a kerb, but Baby and Toddler are oblivious. Another silent utterance of gratitude – this mod stroller is a sturdy little number. Always handy not to lose a child in transit.
10am: hit the playground (almost literally, when the toddler throws a tantrum because you’re out of sultanas and the slide is yellow, not blue).
10.45am: three tantrums later, bribe Toddler with a visit to the bookshop. Spend a day’s salary on books because apparently there’s no such thing as too many copies of The Gruffalo.
10.55am: make use of the pram’s hand-operated brake several times after witnessing The Gruffalo take flight. Decide catching a projectile in one hand and braking the pram in the other is a skill every human should master before calling themselves a bonafide parent.
11.10am: back home, decide the baby’s schedule is a malleable construct and put her down for a nap so you can sit down and eat while the toddler reads/yells. Praise the sleep gods, the baby is cooperative.
12.30pm: load them both back into their highchairs for lunch. Refer to morning schedule commencing at 8am and hit repeat.
3.30pm: decide the baby’s sleep schedule should probably not be so malleable and vow to get her back on track tomorrow. Put her in the stroller (lucky it’s suitable from newborn through to 20kg) to try to get her to sleep.
3.35pm: Toddler politely suggests that Baby ‘GO TO SLEEP GO TO SLEEP GO TO SLEEP’. This message is delivered within three inches of Baby’s face. Baby is not impressed. Even less so; Mum.
3.37pm: Put Toddler in the parade carrier to force separation.
3.45pm: Separation plan successful.
3.45pm-7.00pm: more of the same. Tantrums and projectiles spliced with moments of ridiculous cuteness and heart-shattering bursts of pure love. Plus a few cries of ‘hallelujah’ directed at phil&teds (if you’re out there, Mr Phil and Mr Ted; thank you for helping the parents of Singapore adapt and survive our parenting day).
If you relate to this day in the life of a parent, or if you’re a parent-to-be and therefore blissfully oblivious to what lies ahead, you’ll be pleased to know we’ve joined forces with phil&teds to help. We’re giving away ALL of the following kit for your parenting day survival pleasure:
- ‘mod’ stroller, valued at $799
- ‘parade’ carrier, valued at $249
- ‘poppy’ highchair, valued at $199
- ‘traveller’ travel cot, valued at $399
Total prize value: $1,646
If it’s not your lucky day, you can pick up all these life saving phil&teds products at Motherswork.
The promotion ends on 25 October 2017.
Please note that the mod stroller and parade carrier being offered as prizes are those used in the above photography shoot, therefore the items are slightly used. The poppy highchair and traveller travel cot are brand new.
Please also note that by entering this competition you will be added to the HoneyKids subscriber list to receive our quick weekly updates with invites to our super popular events, great reads and more giveaways! You may also be contacted by our prize partner, phil&teds, who may ask for reviews, feedback or pictures to be used in marketing communications globally. Please check out our full competition terms and conditions.
This post is sponsored by phil&teds.