How do we parent well when our kids are glued to their digital devices? And can we really control what they’re exposed to online?
Setting and maintaining boundaries, establishing good values and keeping our children safe are problems all parents face. Being careful about what our kids are exposed to and limiting screen time are not new phenomenona, but are these challenges more difficult now that our children are seen as ‘digital citizens’, born and raised in the age of smart devices and have access to anything they want on the internet? And how do we feel the best schools in Singapore should be handling our children’s exposure to screen time?
We posed this question to our special guest members of the HoneyKids Parents’ Panel, from GEMS World Academy, Singapore:
“Do you feel that raising kids in the digital age is more fraught than ever? Or do you feel it’s just part of growing up in today’s society? What are your rules for your child’s screen time and social media use?”
“I certainly feel children need to be aware of what is out there in terms of available technology, its advantages, the potential pitfalls, but I am a firm believer in not letting technology take over traditional methods of learning, social interaction and entertainment such as reading books and talking to each other at mealtimes. My three children are under 10 years old and as such, the television is the only digital technology they experience in their everyday life. They are certainly aware of smart phones, iPads, etc but do not have access, motivation or reason to use them at home. By mutual agreement, TV viewing is also for a limited time per week. They entertain themselves with books, board games, creative play, art and outdoor play. For learning, the older two children may access the internet with a parent. They are not using social media because we want to encourage natural socialising before getting them on to social media. The children are encouraged to question things and made to understand the reasoning behind these choices. After all, there’s something to be said if Steve Jobs himself kept his children away from gadgets and excessive technology. ”
– Alia Contractor, British Pakistani, 3 children
“I think all parents feel unsettled with the advancements of the digital age when they relate it to their children. However, it’s important not to fear these new technologies. GEMS World Academy has a wonderfully reassuring, positive, yet boundary-driven policy in this regard. It promotes enjoying the benefits of technology whilst being mindful of the possible pitfalls (overuse of social media, sharing unsuitable material etc). From a parenting perspective, I do restrict my daughter’s personal screen time to an hour or so a night. I found the best way to combat overuse of digital media is to ensure she has more interesting alternatives – school-based activities or playtime with friends always win over the internet in the end!”
– Meera George Harvey, Singaporean with 1 child
“Raising kids nowadays is different from what we experienced growing up. As parents we have to embrace the fact that digital devices and internet usage is part of growing up in today’s society. We need to educate ourselves so that we can also understand their world and can have a mature discussion on the ‘do and don’ts’. Our rules, basically, is for the boys (who are both teenagers), to understand what their priorities are and to tend to these first before enjoying the privilege of screen time.”
– Ady Yatim, Indonesian, two children ages 14 and 17
“Having so much information with a quick search on the computer/iPad is fantastic and really allows our children to learn so much more, faster and in more depth. However, the digital age is going to cause major health problems going forward due to the computer posture children are adopting. I don’t have screen time rules in place (except during the summer holidays). At weekends, we make sure to do as much outside as we can but the children would definitely spend all day on the computer if they could. We allow Snapchat and WhatsApp messaging and also YouTube, but have not allowed Facebook.”
– Vanessa Errington, British, mum to 12-year-old twins
“This is a big challenge for all parents in today’s changing world and it also poses a threat to safety and security of the kids. Digital gadgets have altered the value system, character and behavioural temperament of our kids dramatically. There should be an agreed and scheduled screen time of two to three hours per week on weekends (spread out over two days) for kids of all ages. It’s easier said than done, but we constantly aim for this goal and keep the kids engaged in sports and other enrichment activities to keep them off the screens. Schools that promote digital learning and prescribe digital gadgets, such as iPads and laptops, should use parental control/restriction software to restrict the usage of these gadgets for purposes other than education and enrichment.”
– Peter Divaker, Indian, two kids
“Everything in life has to be moderated, including digital media. We have found that with too much screen time, our son does get agitated and as such we control the exposure quite diligently. We have strict rules in our house. We limit the various screen times – TV on weekdays is roughly 45 minutes to one hour. He only gets electronics (be it iPad/Ninento/Wifi etc) on the weekends (unless, of course, homework is done on the iPad). He gets an hour on Friday afternoon, an hour Saturday morning, an hour Saturday afternoon and an hour on Sunday. We encourage our son to play outdoors and swim. He does get a bit more access to electronics during the school holidays. We realise that there is no avoiding this technology; we just need to ensure the kids are getting a safe exposure.”
– Sarah Verriest, Australian, 1 child.
This post is sponsored by GEMS World Academy, Singapore