We asked our panel of parents whether we expect schools to play a central role in the character development of our kids
Chances are, you thought long and hard before choosing a school in Singapore for your child. Not only did you consider the academic success of the school, you probably took into account whether or not it aligns with other personal preferences, including its social, moral, religious and sporting ideals. It could be said that never before have we expected schools, for which some of us are paying a lot of money for, to deliver so much. It got us thinking about how much responsibility should be placed on our chosen school in Singapore to mould our children into upstanding citizens and how much character building we should be taking on board as parents. With more and more households being made up of two working parents, is it fair to rely on schools to develop positive attributes and survival skills in our kids that we may not get time to reinforce ourselves? Our engaged panel of parents got a little fired up about this one!
Do we expect our chosen school to take on the role of developing the character of our kids more than they should, and should we be more responsible for this as parents – even if we’re working?
“I think the world is changing, and parents and schools need to adopt to the new paradigm of two parents working. As a working Mum I am glad that I have the option to work. And yes, if that means our schools need to help us with the role of developing a strong character in our kids more that what they used to – then that’s what the school needs to do. The more people working on the same common goal of developing strong characters, the better.”
Jess Hart, Australian, three kids
“I expect the school we have chosen to contribute to developing the character of our children We try to remain aligned in how they are raised at home and educated at school.”
Priscilla Gosh, Australian, two kids
“No, both my parents worked. We’re not relying on the school, it’s a team effort. It takes a village to raise a child…”
Emily Brown, British, two kids
“Schools have always been a part of shaping the character of our kids. In the worst conditions, yes, they end up sometimes being the sole influence. But even in families with stay-at-home parents, or very involved parents, there is still an element that is out of our control that affects our kids at school. So we should not expect that schools will do our jobs for us, but we should also be aware that our involvement in decisions about our children are more important now than ever.”
Faith Chanda, American, two kids
“No, character is something that begins at home. We must find a healthy work life balance.”
Roberta Ciccone, American, five kids
“I quit my job to be a stay-at-home mum for our kids as I believe forming kids’ personalities lies with the parents. But we are in a financially secure situation where I can make that choice. Schools should be aware that not all families have that. I also believe in not passing that responsibility over to teachers who are already overloaded.”
Olga Grant, Netherlands, two kids
“Both the school and parents play an equally important role, regardless of whether both parents are working or not.”
Lena Lee, Singaporean, two kids
“No, I rather think that both parties need to have a good and balanced working relationship when it comes to building character.”
Juliana Lim, Singaporean, two kids
“As a professional in the Singapore education system, it is with much sadness that I confirm that parents do rely too heavily on school in this regard. The majority of parents, including working and non-working parents, are leaving character-building to the educators. Some even go to the extent of listing down the character goals they want their child to achieve and hand it over to the teacher to execute. Teachers can help facilitate the necessary process, but if parents don’t follow up on this in the home environment, it is a futile effort to try to mould the child.”
Sri Rahayu, Singaporean, two kids
“I think schools need to be somewhat responsible since your child is there 40+ hours a week. But the end responsibility lies with the parents. So, we should ensure that our school follows similar morals to our own and teaches accordingly.”
Brian Bird, American, two kids
“No. School aids in the development of character because kids get to deal with different circumstances & personalities, but parents are still the main influence on children.”
Maria Athena Catedral Bughao, Filipino, two kids
“Schools can only give an education. Character is built at home, and by setting examples. Family-instilled values will be the only differentiating factor amongst kids at schools.”
Aruna Rao, Indian, two kids
“We believe the school plays a big part in developing character. It’s not really about whether two parents are working or not.”
Adriana Diaz, Brazilian, one child
“No, I don’t believe in relying on schools to develop character in my kids, but I do expect schools to promote the right values and behaviours. I also expect schools to have open communication with me about my child’s behaviour.”
Carrie Gray, Australian, three kids
“No, we can’t be completely dependent on schools. They are still our children. I do appreciate it when the school provides ethics-related classes.”
Britney Williams, American, three kids
“I don’t think we can rely on schools to be responsible for character development. We can expect that they are supporting the learning journey with positive values.”
Helena Ramsdale, British, one child
“Parents should be the main source for developing the character of our kids. The school should be responsible too, given the long period of time that kids are in school. However, parents should not take that for granted and blame should anything happen. This is an issue zand something that we see happening often.”
Ashley Tan, Singaporean, two kids
“No, but I do expect them to provide firm boundaries, such as mutual respect and compassion, as we do at home.”
Danielle Fredford, Australian, two kids
If you’re after more help in choosing a school that is right for your child, budget, location and curriculum choice then visit our School Selector. This handy tool will help you honestly compare schools, side-by-side, based on your own set of criteria.
*Some of the above names have been changed, as requested by a handful of members in the panel.
