Congratulations – you survived the wait to confirm that you’re pregnant, and you’re officially a mum-to-be! Now, brace yourself: there comes a moment in every pregnancy where you are faced with a huge, exciting decision. The moment arrives around the 18 week mark for most, (unless you’ve gone ahead with a gender revealing scan around weeks 10-14) when your tiny little baby’s sex can be clearly identified via ultrasound. Women of Singapore, what would you/did you do?
The jury is out: should you be discovering this huge secret before delivery? We did a quick survey, and it’s no surprise that this, like many things we encounter in pregnancy and parenthood, divides the crowds.
Are you soon to face the decision of whether to find out or not? Have a read below of some different perspectives from mums we know who were in your shoes not so long ago…
Allyson: she found out!
“We decided to find out because we were too excited not to! Especially because this was our first baby. With all of the uncertainties of IVF, getting to know the gender almost made the pregnancy feel more real. So when the tech asked: “Do you want to know the sex?” there was NO WAY we could say no. Also, we had been struggling so much with a boy name – stressing actually. So finding out the gender really helped with that because once we found out it was a girl we didn’t have to fight about boys names anymore.”
Nicole: she waited!
“Being such planners, initially we wanted to find out. But, as the 20-week ultrasound approached we changed our minds. Because it felt like ‘the last true surprise’. More important though for us was “Who/what will this little human be?” The anticipation of that question kept us guessing until the moment HE made his grand entrance. The flood of emotions realising we had a son, well there just aren’t quite words to describe it… Best day of our lives.”
Lara: she found out!
“I found out the gender of both my kids as early in my pregnancy as I possibly could. I was obsessed with wanting to know as much as I could about the little gift I was growing inside of me. I’m also a planner, and wanted to be able to plan for baby better (outfits, nursery colours and decor, names, etc.). I got flack from family saying that I didn’t need to find out the sex because it would ruin the surprise. I completely disagree because it was simply a huge surprise at around 20 weeks pregnant instead of around the 40-week delivery mark. Delivery is a huge moment and surprise regardless because you finally get to meet your baby, so why not spread some of the excitement out?”
Selina: she waited!
“We didn’t want to know the gender of either of our little ones – we wanted a surprise! Although, with our youngest, we asked the sonographer to write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope in case we couldn’t resist the urge to find out or decide on a name for a girl, neither of which we did. Lucky we ended up with another boy!”
Jana: she found out!
“I did the NIPT test to test for Down syndrome etc for both of my kids when I was 10 weeks pregnant. The results of those also revealed the genders. I wanted to be able to properly plan just in case my baby had Down syndrome and also … it was nice knowing the gender because I hate surprises.”
Lindene: she waited!
“It was a given from day one that we wouldn’t find out. It’s the ultimate surprise, so why spoil it? It also turned out to be quite fun speculating along the way. In the end, we were so convinced the baby was a boy – mainly because everyone kept telling us that it was, without question, a boy – that we thought the nurse was messing with us when she blurted, “She’s a big girl!””
Tracy: she did both!
“I didn’t with Jack because I wanted it to be a surprise. But after a difficult labour, I couldn’t enjoy the “It’s a boy” moment and felt robbed, so I decided to find out with Angelica with a gender scan at 16 weeks. We were told it was a boy, so we named her and I even bought a “I have a little brother” t-shirt for little ‘Gabriel’…and then I went for a 22 week scan and was that’s when we found out Gabriel was not Gabriel after all. We still got our little Angel(ica) though. For Rafferty, we did find out and checked and double checked at every scan. And yep: definitely a boy.”
Like this story? Here’s more we think you’ll enjoy: