Everyone has an opinion on the royal family drama on the release of Prince Harry's new tell-all memoir, 'Spare'. What's yours?
In case you missed it (we’re sure you haven’t!), Prince Harry is on the media circuit with the release of his book, ‘Spare.’ His image is everywhere, his voice on the television, podcasts and radio, permeating with accusations and a lingering sadness. At the centre of all of this mess is a family. No family is immune to issues and squabbles among its members, but having this play out on a global stage means that there is a rabid public and media weighing in and taking sides. Mud is being flung that may be impossible to wash clean.
It seems as though everyone has an opinion on the Royal Family feud. I haven’t yet spoken to someone who appears impartial, even though none of us really knows the truth about any of it. It’s easy to understand the infatuation. Fairytales often include a touch of royalty, and to have a real-life prince sharing his story, complete with villains and victims, is too enticing to ignore. Here are some of our key takeaways (and a few learnings) from it all. We’d love to hear your thoughts too!
1. We can’t control others’ opinions, but we can choose how we respond
First things first – some things are just not okay. No one can deny that some truly horrendous stories have been written about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. More than just opinion pieces, some of these articles should never have been put to print by any sort of reputable publication. There were certainly times when the royal family could have made rebuttals, or stronger rebuttals, against the tabloid fodder, and from Harry’s perspective, he seems to suggest in all of his recent interviews that this is a key issue in the breakdown of their relationships.
We can’t control others’ opinions, but we can choose how we respond. Harry places so much emphasis on the media and its impact on his decision-making, but at the end of the day, our online world is full of just that – unsubstantiated, often factually incorrect, cruel and mean opinions. Living with the vitriol obviously stung. However, they are not the only celebrities to suffer from these attacks on varying scales. I’ve never experienced it, so my opinion is akin to a pinch of salt, but I urge Harry to block it out as others do and for him to seek advice on how to manage his ongoing issues with the ‘British press’.
2. Private lives should remain private, and consent is important
But there is a lot that is unfair in this story. It’s not fair that William and Harry lost their mother at such a young age. It’s not fair that William will inherit the throne and Harry won’t (although, to be fair, William never asked to be born an heir and shoulder all of the responsibility that comes with it). But it’s also not fair that Harry is choosing to share intensely private, shared moments without William’s consent.
Whether or not Harry’s version of physical assault or verbal attack charges is factually correct, in his role within the royal family, William cannot defend himself against this if he is to maintain his grandmother’s credo ’don’t complain, never explain’. How would he go about releasing a statement to clarify or defend without adding flames to the fire?
Our other gripe? The personal details. Let’s be honest; anyone has the right to write a book if they want to (and we know many celebs choose to tell all), but the info on William being circumcised or Harry’s frostbitten penis? No, thanks. At least the latter is his story alone to share. There were two people involved in Harry losing his virginity. I hope the woman’s identity is never revealed if she desires privacy.
3. All families have their problems, royal or not
Another bombshell from Harry’s book is his opinion as a young Prince of his future stepmother-to-be, Camilla. This reads like so many stories of fractured families the world over – jealousy and rage at the changes to a familial structure when a relationship breaks down and new partners are introduced. Harry’s account of the early days of Charles and Camilla’s relationship is shared as a joint recollection – with both brothers apparently asking their father not to marry Camilla, which again is tricky as it speaks on behalf of William. Who knows what William actually thought? Chances are nobody will ever know. And that’s really the way it should be. Regardless of what anyone thinks of Camilla, 17 years on, it’s pretty clear that she’s a steadfast and loyal partner to the new King, as we heard in his first speech after the Queen’s passing. But the key learning from all of this? That all families have their issues. Royal or not.
4. Taking it back to the stuff that matters
What does irk me about Harry’s continued narrative are his attacks on a collective ‘British press’, as there are so many loyal journalists who diligently do their job and do it well. It feels as though every journo who has ever written a word about him is being smeared in his rants against the media, notwithstanding that there are many articles that deserve his wrath, just not all of them. However, there is another side. In actuality, the Royal Family and the media work together for a lot of good causes. They shine a light on charities and causes that would otherwise struggle for attention. Their appearance at a care home, a hospital, or a woman’s shelter, focuses our attention on the people that need help. Charles and Camilla, William and Kate, and the other serving royals are continuing to do this, despite this highly painful media controversy.
I just hope after the media fanfare dies down, the spotlight can be redirected back to the things that matter, and for Harry and Meghan, that’s raising awareness of The Archewell Foundation or The Invictus Games. If Harry and Meghan want to continue their public service, they can do so in many ways, especially as they retain their Duke and Duchess titles. Hopefully, longer term, we can get back to the positive impact their position and status can have on so many worthwhile causes.
5. Is it too late now to say ‘sorry?’
The more interviews Harry does, the less likely a reconciliation any time soon feels achievable. If my sibling wrote a book about our parents, me and my husband that contained this many painful soundbites, I would probably be seethingly angry and give them a wide berth until I simmered down. But I’m not royal, and the repercussions of this whole saga have the very real potential to do lasting damage to the monarchy. Aside from that, there is a family that may have cousins who grow up as strangers and brothers that lack the support of their sibling. And whatever you think about the whole thing, one thing is clear: all of this just makes for a very sad story. We can only hope that one day there will be peace, and their family will find the space to heal – hopefully out of the limelight.
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