If we aren’t doing our own housework thanks to our live-in helpers, how do we expect to raise kids who can clean up after themselves? Our Parents’ Panel weighs in.
Let’s be honest – many of us who enjoy the luxury of live-in help don’t know what we’d do without our helpers. But, when a helper takes away the burden of housework to allow you the freedom to return to your career and be a working mum, enjoy a rich social life or spend more quality time with your kids, are we setting our own children up to be less than self-sufficient when it comes to housework? We’ve already broached the questions of how our kids are emotionally affected when both parents work and a helper needs to step in, and if we are letting our helpers do too much for our kids. It can be a minefield. But are we also setting a poor example if they never see mum and dad wielding the vacuum cleaner or mopping the floor?
We asked the wise members of our Parents’ Panel:
“Can we really get away with telling our kids to wash the dishes, when we don’t do it ourselves?”
Here are some of their brutally honest answers:
“Absolutely. It’s how I was raised. I rule a dictatorship, not a democracy. You don’t like it, change it when YOU are a parent yourself.”
Olga Grant, Netherlands, two kids
“No, kids can differentiate now. Parents have to be role models for kids to follow.”
Ashley Tan, Singaporean, two kids
“Absolutely! Modeling is really important in lots of things, but we all contribute to the family and the household in different ways. And parents do lots of things that kids can’t do – drive the car, drink coffee, stay up late, say bad words, tell people what to do. The kids won’t always like it, but it’s a lesson they need to learn.”
Faith Chanda, American, two kids
“No but we can all help to pack the dishwasher”
Helena Ramsdale, British, one child
“Nope we can’t. Have to be able to walk the talk.”
Maria Athena Catedral Bughao, Filipino, two kids
“I always practice what I preach. My children have to take their plates and cutlery from the dining table into the kitchen when they are finished their meal, just as we do ourselves. If I ask them to wash up they jump at the chance because they love it!”
Priscilla Gosh, Australian, two kids
“My kids do this and other jobs if they’re desperate to buy a toy and need to earn extra pocket money.”
Sara Valentine, New Zealand, three kids
“We do on Sundays! I do think every bit counts.”
Carrie Gray, Australian, three kids
“I do dishes and cook with and without our helper.”
Britney Williams, American, three kids
“Not really – parents need to set the example.”
Jess Hart, Australian, three kids
*Some of the above names have been changed, as requested by a handful of members in the panel.