Congratulations – you survived the wait to confirm that you’re pregnant, and you’re officially a mum to be! Now, brace yourself: there comes a moment in every pregnancy where you are faced with a huge, exciting decision. The moment arrives around the 18 week mark for most, (unless you’ve gone ahead with a gender revealing scan around weeks 10-14) when your tiny little baby can be clearly identified via ultrasound as either a girl or a boy. Women of Singapore, what would you do?
The jury is out: should you be discovering this little secret before delivery? We did a quick survey, and it’s no surprise that this, like many things we encounter in pregnancy and parenthood, divides the crowds.
Are you soon to face the decision of whether to find out or not? Have a read below of some different perspectives from mums that were in your shoes not so long ago. And remember, no matter what you decide will be the perfect decision for you – #toeachtheirown has never been so true.
Allyson: she found out!
“We decided to find out because we were too excited not to! Especially because this was our first baby. With all of the uncertainties of IVF, getting to know the gender almost made the pregnancy feel more real. So when the tech asked: “Do you want to know the sex?” there was NO WAY we could say no. Also, we had been struggling so much with a boy name – stressing actually. So finding out the gender really helped with that because once we found out it was a girl we didn’t have to fight about boys names anymore.”
Nicole: she waited!
“Being such planners, initially we wanted to find out. But, as the 20-week ultrasound approached we changed our minds. Because it’s ‘the last true surprise?’ Maybe. Because all that matters is that your babe is healthy and happy? Maybe. Because it’s our first and we didn’t need to worry about whether or not to keep this or that? Maybe. Who/what will this little human be? The anticipation of that question kept us guessing until the moment HE made his grand entrance. The flood of emotions realising we had a son, well there just aren’t quite words to describe it… Best day of our lives.”
Lara: she found out!
“I found out the gender of both my kids as early in my pregnancy as I possibly could. I was obsessed with wanting to know as much as I could about the little gift I was growing inside of me. I’m also a planner, and wanted to be able to plan for baby a little better (outfits, nursery colours and decor, names, etc.). I got flack from family saying that I didn’t need to find out the sex because it would ruin the surprise. I completely disagree because it was simply a huge surprise at around 20 weeks pregnant instead of around the 40-week delivery mark. Delivery is a huge moment and surprise regardless because you finally get to meet your baby, so why not spread some of the excitement out?”
Selina: she waited!
“We didn’t want to know the gender of either of our little ones – we wanted a surprise! Although, with our youngest, we asked the sonographer to write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope in case we couldn’t resist the urge to find out or decide on a name for a girl, neither of which we did. Lucky we ended up with another boy!”
Lindene: she waited!
“It was a given from day one that we wouldn’t find out. It’s the ultimate surprise, so why spoil it? It also turned out to be quite fun speculating along the way. In the end, we were so convinced the baby was a boy – mainly because everyone kept telling us that it was, without question, a boy – that we thought the nurse was messing with us when she blurted, “She’s a big girl!””
Are you dying to know? Are you sitting on the fence? Or do you want a real surprise? Let us know, ladies!
Do you have a pregnancy story to share? Email your 500-word story to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line MY PREGNANCY STORY: we’ll be publishing a reader story every month!
Like this story? Here’s more we think you’ll enjoy:
What you don’t need to buy for your baby
Baby showers for modern mums
Bump wars: pregnant and already kiasu?
What men can do to help: a dad’s survival guide for new fathers