Take control of your life with our amazing amateur advice!
It’s not the start of the new year anymore and all our good intentions of a fresh start, new beginning and revolutionary modus operandi have come to nought. We’re still fighting off the rut, reacting rather than being proactive and in desperate need of a destination detox just so we can get away from the relentlessness of managing life for us and our tribe. But it’s more realistic to shelve our plans of watching torrented GOT one evening, sit down at the dining room table (vino allowed as one and only vice), and make a plan to get our house in order (ok, it belongs to someone else but go with it). How? Read on for our amazing(ly) laymans tips on how to – dare we say it – get organised.
1. Breathe
We mean this sincerely. You’re no good to anyone if you don’t take a moment to slow down, find your happy place and think clearly. Running, yoga and meditation are great ways to get centred and find your focus. Find a play list, running trail or yoga studio that works for you and make time. OK, we know you’re busy but you’re just going to have to get up earlier or forgo lounging on the sofa in the evening once the kids are in bed. Personally, we’re unable to heed this advice and are subscribers of the ‘vehicle as cone of silence’ method which consists of dropping the kids off at their various places of education, then entombing ourselves in a parked car for 5 minutes, radio off, seat reclined. Sometimes, we’ll get all Gwyneth and use a short-guided mediation app, but at the very least we park-up somewhere (we suggest moving on from the school car park to avoid some strange peering) and tune out for a snack-size amount of time pre-caffeine hit. Failing that, bypass the TV in the pm, light a candle and lay on the floor for 5 minutes and think of rainbows. Every little bit.
2. Make A List
We’re avid fans of making lists. In fact, we like it so much that we write things down that we’ve already done simply to experience the sheer pleasure of crossing them off. Nerds-R-Us. Now, if you’re not a list maker, think of it as your brain on paper. You can relieve your mind of all that thinking and remembering dates and tasks by penning them down in our weapon of choice – a Moleskine. We prefer the notebook version but you can go for a spanking new 2015 diary if you can actually commit to completing an action on a specific date (we can’t). But, if you’re likely to procrastinate and carry forward an unfinished task you’re just going to end up with a bunch of crosses, lines and rewritten info – certain death for stationary addicts who love the purity of a tidy page. If you want to go all highbrow, you can divide your list into quadrants with headings like Action Immediately and Important But Not Urgent. But we’re old school and we just throw it all down there in one great morass of expectation. The List. And we check it twice. Three times even. Every day. It makes us feel safe, if not very accomplished.
3. Plan Ahead
An extension of The List is The Plan. This may require Excel skills. And a husband. For discussion purposes only. Don’t be scared (if scared, add wine, but only one glass. It’s Dry January remember). It’s time to get out a calendar, look at the year ahead, and first and foremost, check where the public holidays fall. Yep, holidays are a priority and it’s our duty to utilize the privilege we have of living in Asia by maximizing every long weekend to experience the latest private island resort or destination half-marathon. Otherwise, what are we here for – the terrific school fees and low rent? We say nay. So, earmark your times for getting away now and get booking because chances are that half of Singapore will be heading to Changi at the same time and you need to kiasu this thing before it gets expensive. Final word on this: decide where and with whom you’re spending Christmas now. This will save countless hours spent discussing the topic for the next eleven months. ‘The Book it and They Will Come’ approach works wonders for extended family gatherings – everyone loves a destination vacay and the ability to avoid conflict by offloading food prep and cleaning is worth every cent.
4. Say No
We bet you occasionally say the kind of no that a whole genre of meme’s have been created about: “‘*&%$@# Noooooooo, decorating my laptop with nail polish is not ok’. We know you say the cruel-to-be-kind-no a lot: “No, you cannot have a competition to see who can fit the most peas in their mouth at once, but I’m glad you’re eating your vegetables”. And we suspect you deny yourself pleasure reasonably regularly by saying no: “No, I’m too tired/have a headache/would rather watch a repeat episode of GOT, but what about tomorrow night?”. Perhaps it’s time to give another type of no a workout – the type of no that takes away your time. Say no to a playdate and relish some unstructured time at home that doesn’t see you packing a bag and getting in the car. Say no to some weeknight events (let’s face it, the availability of babysitters on tap here can make for a relentless and unnatural social schedule), then go to bed early and just do it. Yeah, that. Lastly, say no to devices intruding on moments in your day. Put down the phone or the iPad and back away from mindless scrolling and refreshing – even just for half an hour. If you’re powerless against the pull of social media then get the iMaddicted app to stand up for you instead.
5. Consolidate
We are about to invest in a whiteboard. Not for work but for the kitchen (our other workplace). While we have our appointments and events diarised, there are children, husbands and helpers that all need to get with the programme too. While the shared calendar on our smart phone does the trick somewhat, we’re not about to gift the kids a cell at this point so they need stuff in hard copy. We tried updating and printing out excel spreadsheets on a weekly basis but we killed too many trees. Maybe whatever goes into creating a whiteboard is just as harmful but we hope to give it a mighty workout (and not just the markers on walls). Anyway, the point is, gather the tools that work best for you and your family so you can all be on the same page, whether it be the new Savvy Mum app, a pretty family planner calendar from Kikki K, or a discussion over dinner every Sunday night. Whatever works.
6. Calm The Space Down
A zen space, a zen mind can make. Or so we kid ourselves. Whenever we’re feeling overwhelmed and frantic with all we’ve got to do, it’s time to tidy up. We don’t mean decluttering, rearranging, or spring-cleaning. We mean baskets. And hiding things in them till we’re ready to deal with them. Yes, you can call it procrastination, but clearing our digs of toys, unopened mail, and the detritus of our daily life helps us to think more clearly. Try Oddjects, Galanga Living (check out their stylish docking station for all your modern media devices), Muji , Hola Linda, Spotlight, perennial saviour IKEA, or the La Cerise Sur Le Gateau range from The Children’s Showcase. Oh and hooks and a hat stand can hide a multitude of sins in plain sight. It’s an interim measure, to be sure, and those veering towards the OCD end of the spectrum will probably get up in the middle of the night to sort out that junk dump, but it’s a quick solution to reclaiming some calm.
Now, for that glass of wine…it’s almost February.